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How many situations have you been in that you have desperately wished to not be a part of? Probably quite a few. Something simple like being stuck in traffic or something more complex like getting caught by PETA in a local church basement sodomizing a donkey in front of young children. With one call
to this service, a contract thug (much like a AAA tow service) will rush to your aid and smash a glass bottle over your head immediately taking you out of the situation. Of course you would eventually have to deal with reality again when you wake up but the worst will already be over!
5¢
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/5_a2
If I had a nickel for every time I was caught, simply. [reensure, Feb 05 2001]
[link]
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Maybe you could offer a premium service: The goons take you down discreetly with a tranquilizer dart and use a breakaway bottle to achieve the same effect for the onlookers. |
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Really big spenders could arrange to have everyone else participating in the situation hit with bottles instead. |
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I expect the goons would want to carry one of those roll-out toolkits with a wide selection of bottles: Brittle glassware for delicate-pated children, thick pop bottles for the concussion-hardened crania of close family members, champagne for donkeys, and so on. |
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Teach the donkey to sodomise you and get someone to videotape it. Then sell the tape to "When good times go bad" |
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Of course, you'd have to conceal the identity of the donkey. |
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This all sounds to me remarkably like the USA's foreign policy. Just substitute a third world country of your choice in place of the donkey. |
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no, no, no. youve got it all wrong. No tranquilizer darts, no break-away bottles (although having ALL participants hit with bottles sounds good so take away one of the "no"s). This service is intended to give you what you deserve for getting into that situation in the first place. Its not a "get out of jail free" card, its a "how bad do you want it?" card. If you get caught by PETA w/donkey, you deserve at least a bottle upside the head to get away from that situation. Kind of like a cyanide pill but you dont die, you just have a headache. you may wake up in a jail cell but this service is not about getting you out of the consequences of your situation. Thats what lawyers are for. |
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Send lawyers, bottles, and donkeys... |
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Sorry, I forgot the Violence. |
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Say DrBob, which position do you see this 3World country occupying in this deal? |
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The donkey, sadly. I might add that this could probably apply to all the 'western' nations. Not just the USA.
Incidentally, what's PETA? A protection agency of some sort I guess. But what does it protect? Young children, donkeys or church premises? |
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Have you all noticed that it is the most inane ideas that get the best and most comments in halfbakery? Not that i'm complaining...I'm too busy wiping tears of laughter from my eyes to complain. But at this rate we'll never save the world with our combined genius! |
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RobGraham, I've been trying to find one that isn't for weeks. |
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I would suggest that the bottling crew be headed up by the original members of the A-Team so you can be sure its the right guy smacking you in the head with a bottle. |
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Be really annoying if you were expecting the bottling crew and the FBI or BAT beat them to it. Saaaaay, maybe that's what happened at Waco? |
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Um... Calgon... isn't that the stuff for removing limescale from dishwashers? |
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