h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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Speed Court
May not drop below 55 mph, until a verdict is obtained | |
Court cases are tried on a speeding bus, with refuelling and feeding facilities.
All participants must board the bus prior to the trial beginning, as there is no provision for adding or subtracting people once it is set in motion.
Lawyers are thereby forced to properly prepare their cases ahead
of time; Juries will deliberate, instead of shagging about and drawing the process out for days; Audience and press are unable to unduly influence outcomes; Defendants are ensured a speedy trial.
In the case of a guilty verdict the bus terminates at the appropriate prison.
You need this man to be the judge, of course...
http://www.bing.com...18507805&FORM=VIRE7
(they seem to be discussing missing cheese, hmm...) [blissmiss, Oct 17 2009]
[link]
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Only problem, those "speedy trials" often result in premature conviction of innocent people. My idea of a speedy trial, as in the "speedy trial" that the US Constitution says everyone has a right to, is one that starts right away, as opposed to letting you rot in a prison cell for years on end without a chance to defend yourself, not one that starts and ends quickly. Rushing a trial is a bad, bad, bad idea. [-] |
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Yeah, but isn't the part with the missing bridge fun? |
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I'm not suggesting the trial has to be conducted within hours. They can still take weeks or months, but they do it in isolation, at speed... without the wooden acting dummy, Keanu Reeves. |
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So... would susceptibility to motion-sickness then be a
disqualifying factor for jury duty? |
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Why not? Everything else seems to be grounds for exemption. |
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Perhaps the accused could choose their preferred transport: nuclear submarine, steam railway locomotive, hot air balloon, pogo sticks... |
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//the US Constitution says everyone has a right to, is one that starts right awayis one that starts right away, as opposed to letting you rot in a prison cell for years on end without a chance to defend yourself//
So, all those people in orange boiler suits in Cuba - what went wrong there? |
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They forgot to go armed in public, or something. |
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Apparently all men are born equal, but US citizens are more equal than others. |
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Yes that sounds like an unreasonably broad interpretation of the word "everyone" you're using there, [AWL]. Most suspicious and un-American. |
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//all those people in orange boiler suits in Cuba - what went wrong there?// Well they aren't "men", they are enemy combatants, even the one guy who actually was a US citizen, so [UB]'s quote //but US citizens are more equal than others//, isn't true all the time. It's all about creative use of this language we stole from the English. |
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Sadly the US's complete history is supposed to be about liberty and it mostly about denying even basic humanity to one group or other. Sadder still is the fact that there are few if any that can claim their country wasn't also birthed and buoyed by the blood of others. The difference is that we are the one holding the stick now since we grabbed it from Britain, and we turned it into a really big stick. |
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But back to the idea, I'd hate to admit it, but I'm with [21Q] on this one. (-) But that is balanced by my desire for speedy sentencing and pushing some murdering bastard out of a speeding bus does have some appeal (pun unintended).(+) So it's a wash. |
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