h a l f b a k e r ySugar and spice and unfettered insensibility.
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Watching a city worker this morning, it occurred to me that no-one has really made any great advances in streetsweeping technology, apart from vacuum trucks, in some time.
Suckpants is the answer. These are a pair of trousers that fit over your existing clothes, with wide (30cm/12in diameter) inlets
at the feet. The edges of the inlets are adjustable, but work best between 1 and 3cm above ground level.
A powerful backpack vacuum unit sucks air up the legs of the pants, filtering dirt, rubbish, cigarette butts and leaves out of the airstream, before expelling clean, filtered air behind the user, through a vent positioned centrally, just below the belt.
When the trashbag, mounted on the back of the vacuum unit, is full then you turn off the device and empty it.
Recommendation: Avoid dogshit and puddles. Best results obtained if you are wearing rollerskates.
The suckcoat, for cleaners in fast food restaurants, is under development, but we're having trouble with drink cups and bottles.
HoverPants
HoverPants
A mutual idea [DesertFox, Feb 28 2005]
What [CF]'s talking about
Chihuahua_20Vacuum
Yes, I'm guilty of this one, too [UnaBubba, Mar 01 2005]
These two ought to go together:
Hover_20shoes
Both require a blower which can double as a sucker. [neelandan, Mar 05 2005]
[link]
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Also useful for shoplifting. |
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I don't think a shop would fit up the leg of your pants, but you can try. |
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The backpack vaccum is already baked. |
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Re: Airflow: Large pant legs would provide stability. |
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The backpack vacuum may be baked, but I've never seen anyone wearing a pair of these pants, [KK]. |
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Perhaps we should explore the possibilities of combined and co-authored ideas, UnaBubba? |
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//through a vent positioned centrally, just below the belt.// :) :) :) |
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If vented through a whoopee cushion type apparatus, this could perhaps serve as a warning to citizens to stand clear, and keep a firm hold on the chihuahua leash. |
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Thought this was an idea for a wider opening fly. |
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I don't understand what you mean bris? |
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Haha. Either I have a dirty mind, or [bris] does. |
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Yep. I've definitely got an unfan club, just like [FJ]. |
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The bakers who have consistently come up with creative, or funny, or atleast entertaining ideas, always get boned. Jealousy is an ugly emotion. It's also a shame. But I know the count of bones to bread, has never been the attraction to the bakery, for either of you. That is why the boners leave eventually, and the brainers stay. (My it's late). |
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<is now worried about getting more bones to validate creativity> |
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Screw em.
And as the commericial says, if your boner last longer than 4 hours you should seek immediate medical treatment. |
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There is no known treatment for status bunicity. |
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And, dear, what commercials are you watching, anyway? |
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You have commercials like that in your part of Scandinavia, [bliss]? Wow! |
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Cialis. Viagra. Milk Bones. I dunno... |
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Look! I'm Spongebob Suckpants! |
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Damn! There's a good idea there, for a moralistic, environmentalist cartoon program. |
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this is also useful for a catburglar (or whatever) in that the pant could vacuum up all the hair, skin cells and lint that may be left behind as evidence later. |
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Let's not forget dander. Though, I'm betting that if you stuck one of these on a cat it would certainly get its dander up. |
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"Dude, your pants suck."
"I know. I'm environmentally friendly!"
"That's not what I meant..." |
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UnaBubba, you get my croissant for freaky idea-ness, but I would imagine the cuffs would have to be faired for maximum trash collection, and I am so out of bell-bottoms. What about the trash you are stepping on? How about vacu-shoes, with a grill-like bottom to suck the stuff under your feet? |
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