Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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T++

A 'quintessentially English' programming language
  (+23, -2)(+23, -2)(+23, -2)
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I am not sure exactly how it will work but it should have the following features:

- Syntax is similar to C++ but with much more emphasis placed on punctuation.

- It is class-sensitive and strongly stereotyped.

- Each T++ program runs in a separate memory space known as a Virtually Ruled Empire (VRE). When the system is started T++ quickly establishes an empire then, after an undefined period of exclusive use of all system resources, it grudgingly releases control to other software.

- A singleton known as the 'Monarch' is notionally responsible for scheduling. In later versions this object will be a façade to the more complex 'Government' interface.

- One of the unique features of T++ is 'subject-orientated programming' where thread priorities depend largely on the number of references to the Monarch.

Top tips

- T++ is difficult to maintain because it uses self-deprecating code and will tend to discard even rather good methods after a while.

- In addition be careful about diagnostic tools as T++ will often claim to be using more resources (e.g. memory, disk, etc) based on some historic figure rather than current usage.

- It has the annoying tendency to rename remote objects after the object that found them. This is particularly true of objects in exotic locales.

- It is possible for T++ to interact with other languages through the using the RNI (Restless Native Interface). However, it may throw an UnseemlyException if too many callback methods are used.

- The compiler is excessively polite and will apologise for your coding mistakes

riposte, Apr 17 2003

[link]






       Ha++
DrCurry, Apr 17 2003
  

       "- Syntax is similar to C++ but with much more emphasis placed on punctuation."
Is this possible?!?!?!
phoenix, Apr 17 2003
  

       I like the "polite compiler" idea, but didn't Microsoft already ruin the politeness idea with their fakery? ("The program has instructed the computer to terminate it in an unusual way. Would you like to send an error report to Microsoft?" Yeah, right, thanks for asking)
phundug, Apr 17 2003
  

       “’T’@>’T+’@>’T++’”!...
Shz, Apr 17 2003
  

       T++ apps are unfortunately susceptible to D++ viral attacks: 'Texan' style code that preempts WMD function calls with massive Denial of Service bombardments and infiltrations.
roby, Apr 17 2003
  

       Heh.
bristolz, Apr 18 2003
  

       "The last good thing written in C++ was Pachelbel's Canon."
angel, Apr 18 2003
  

       When interacting with a program written in a foreign language, T++ will simply pass data to the foreign program in T++ format, and if this generates an error, will do the same again, but louder.
friendlyfire, Apr 18 2003
  

       T++ is a really good language for prototyping games but really bad at actually running them. +
nichpo, Aug 14 2003
  

       I don't understand the whole concept..
artist, Aug 14 2003
  

       And of course, you can have it in any colour that you like, as long as you choose pink.
DrBob, Aug 15 2003
  

       Wouldn't it be "Sort of a bit more than T" rather than "T++"? Otherwise it's blowing its own trumpet rather too much.   

       Croissant++, by the way
the_knights_of_ni, Aug 15 2003
  

       How about grammar, scan and diction? C++ is bereft of any.   

       C++ is the most vowel-retentive language outside C and provokes coders into thinking they are clever if they can obfusticate and compress...can someone tell them "IT IS NOT INTERPRETED!"   

       Louder?...ok...
timbeau, Jan 05 2004
  

       I say. That's really quite good, old boy. But don't get big headed about it, all right?
English Bob, Jan 05 2004
  

       Everything stops for T++.
lostdog, Jan 05 2004
  

       See?++
DesertFox, Apr 15 2005
  

       one can't practice coding in T++. Somethings are Just Not Done.
elfling, Apr 15 2005
  

       Actually, ++T is more efficient.
coprocephalous, Apr 15 2005
  

       Attempts to compile syntax which is undefined will result in the T++ compiler finding all uses of such syntax in all visible modules, assessing the context of each occurrence, deducing the intended effect, and then arbitrarily defining it as something completely different and telling you - politely - that your usage was wrong all along.
Detly, Apr 16 2005
  

       There are some great puns here involving "The sun never sets on the..." but I can't quite put them together.
ywong, Apr 18 2005
  

       Of course, T++ syntax will only allow "programmes" to be written, and will reject variables called "meter", unless they refer to measuring instruments, and not units of length. M-I-F syntax will distinguish the class of the true T++ programmer.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 18 2005
  

       At 17:00 GMT all T++ compilers close and pass all code over to T+cake.
wagster, Apr 18 2005
  

       Prize to [wags].
Detly, Apr 19 2005
  

       And the civil-service version of the compiler has to be programmed in Latin. (No, I didn't mean ISO Latin1)
gtoal, Apr 25 2008
  

       //A 'quintessentially English' programming language//
I feel a truly English programming language ought to mind its Ps and Qs
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 26 2008
  
      
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