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Tabloid-Inspired Fairytales

Fowl-Smelling Mother Goosed to Produce Golden Ova
 
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A children’s book of captivating fairytales could be written based on supermarket tabloid stories such as “Werewolves protest plan to blow up moon!” or “Ventriloquist is in coma — but his dummy is still talking” or "Baby Grows Sideburns during Visit to Graceland!" The tall tales need be no more gruesome or incredible than “Little Red Riding Hood” or “Hansel and Gretel”.

“Once upon a time there was a little old lady who lived alone in the woods with her kitten and a large carp. Unfortunately, the woman who had 12-inch fingernails had died while picking her nose. The kitten had always enjoyed teasing the fish in the bowl, but now growing quite hungry, decided to climb up on some books to stretch over and dip its paw in the water…”

FarmerJohn, Apr 23 2004

Top Ten Tabloid Headlines http://www.citynewsstand.com/TopTen.htm
Some of these really inspire halfbakery ideas: "Crop circles appearing on people's heads!" and "Melting swimsuits land inventor in hot water". [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Tabloid Dreams http://www.amazon.c...05031316/halfbakery
[DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Some Grimm tales http://www.ucs.mun....rker/fairies/grimm/
Can't be any worse than these. [Klaatu, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       Aren't most fairy tales actually about sex (i.e. about why good girls don't do it)? Should work well then!
squeak, Apr 23 2004
  

       Nowadays Fairy Tales are about big slutty girls who charm Princes...
NeoPiter, Apr 23 2004
  

       I confess that my favourite headline ever related to a story about a dance inspired Hobbit musical.   

       The headline?   

       Wait for it.   

       Jive Tolkein.   

       Genius.
jonthegeologist, Apr 23 2004
  

       I have a book at home riffing on this topic, though not particularly intended for children. You could argue that the tabloids (which in the US print the most far-fetched stories and only occasionally breaking news) are modern fairy tales.
DrCurry, Apr 23 2004
  

       You must remember your audience! Fairy Tales are to read to little ones at bedtime. Preferably they should help them get to sleep quickly.   

       With this in mind I read my 2 year old son the Commodities and Agriculture section from the Financial Times. Not only is he up on cocoa futures but he's also asleep in 5 minutes.   

       Tabloids are for toilet training.
davekebab, Apr 23 2004
  
      
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