h a l f b a k e r y
A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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A technical support team comprised entirely of mimes.
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I'm not sure about Tech Support Mimes. Now Tech Support Parrots, that's where the money's at. "Squak! Restart Windows, Restart Windows. Squack! Reinstall Windows." |
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Wonderfully goofy. And really that's all I ever require of my tech support team. |
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Brilliant. + I never understand a single word they say anyway. |
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Can you call them for help? |
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"I shall explain your shared drive
permissioning error through the
medium of dance" |
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This is one of these ideas that can be implemented in a million ways. "Press 1 to have your problem dealt with in opera. Press 2 to have your problem dealt with in existentialist poetry. Press 3 to have you problem dealt with by a team of clowns. Press 4 to have your problem dealt with in rap...." There's no end to it. [++] |
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That tech support has never physically been in the same room with me is the reason why I'm not in prison right now - having not yet beaten anyone to death with my laptop. Aggravated further by a smiling indifference to actually talk to me and there is no doubt I'd be in for multiple life sentences. |
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A fitting punishment for people who call in demanding to know why the program doesn't run on their fifteen year old computers built by a company in Myanmar that only made three of them then went out of business. |
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And ANYONE who says 'it worked like that before/yesterday'. It doesn't MATTER if it worked before. It isn't working NOW. |
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Remember that the people who are actually supporting the software have absolutely nothing to do with having written it, OR the documentation. Calling and whining at us 'why did you do that' is pointless. Calling and asking us for help, listening to what we tell you to do, doing ONLY that and reporting the results will get the problem fixed as quickly as possible, and treating us like people instead of a servant that just spilled the expensive cognac will get you much better service. |
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And yes, we know that the last six people you talked to were in India. We don't care. We don't like it any better than you do; it means that there aren't jobs for us here. But we can't do anything about it. The company doesn't listen to us. They WILL listen to you, the customer. |
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StarChaser the Tech-Support Tyger |
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I'd still prefer mimes, if not for anythng but the entertainment value. (Sorry SC, it's good to see ya again and all, and I would never want to see ya without a job, but, well, I heard there was a really good college for mimes and clowns in Oregon, or maybe it was Seattle.) |
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I have a brother who used to do tech support. Watching him going out to work with powdered face, striped Tshirt, beret and gloves would have been soooo worthwhile. + |
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For some of the more...simple tech-support clientele, presenting fixes in an entertaining medium would simultaneously reduce their enmity and help them remember how to solve their problem. That said, animated shorts or sock-puppet theatre would probably be more effective. |
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I find mimes incredibly annoying. I frear that if I had to rely on their help I would be tipped over the edge: |
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"Damn! This blasted compiler is infested with bugs, the installation has strewn files across the wrong folders and the README is out of date. I then go on google and find an obscure webgroup post that explains it all as a cock-up on behalf of the company... GRRRR!..
I know, I'll dial the Tech Support Mimes, they'll help me.
<knock knock> Come in. Ah, Hi there. I'm really frustrated with this software and I need your help...
<That's it, come closer you no-good, silent freak>
<gives closest mime a haymaker> THWACK! Ah... that feels better already. |
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I saw a mime on tv last night - she was auditioning for American Idol. It was one of the funniest things I've seen. |
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Sign me up. Both as an audience and a performer. Tech support could become like Charades. Wonderful idea. |
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this would make it exceedingly difficult to outsource the job overseas. |
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also, it's been said elsewhere, and never by me, that mimes could use a good beating anyways. |
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... and after they've been and fixed your computer they secretly install spyware... Mimesweeper! |
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someone's trapped behind the glass of my monitor?! |
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<Holding butt of imaginary rifle close to inside of shoulder, aims at [UnaBubba] & gently squeezes trigger> |
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<bends over backwards, at waist, in slow motion, watching bullet pass by, in a long shockwave of disturbed air. Sees self, reflected in [Jinbish]'s mirrored sunglasses, in perfect clarity. Moves sideways, in slomo, to avoid next bullet...> |
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