h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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People all over the world are fascinated with pirates. Stories of pirates and buried treasure have fired almost everyone's imagination at some time.
Police, on the other hand, have a bit of an image problem.
The solution appears blindingly simple: Dress the cops up as pirates; stuff their nightsticks
into their sword scabbards; put parrot-shaped radios on their shoulders, kit them out with billowing, white, bulletproof shirts and set them free to strike terror into the hearts of blackguards and murderers everywhere.
Swashbuckling cops, swinging into crime scenes on ropes, like SWAT officers already do, would bring fun, excitement and social acceptability to the job of enforcing the law.
When you're speeding down the freeway and a Corsair full of pirates draws alongside and runs out its guns, it's time to pull over, boys and girls.
Pirate costumes needed...
http://www.venganza.org/
They can work nights teaching about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [waugsqueke, Jun 29 2005]
Bluebeard Blake and "Fred"
http://www.jgrant.c...ges/robertblake.JPG
[jurist, Jun 30 2005]
Err..pirate police
http://www.boulderw...ges/cover032102.jpg
[skinflaps, Jun 30 2005]
Err..more pirate..err..police
http://www.raphaelk...t/fuzz%20pirate.jpg
[skinflaps, Jun 30 2005]
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Annotation:
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/Avast! Book 'im, Danno. Then, run him through!/ |
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<Patiently waits, for what she is not sure.> |
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Actor Robert Blake did something like this with a white cockatoo in the old "Baretta" (1975-78) undercover cop television series...and look where it got him. |
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I don't actually recall what he drove in the series, but it was more likely to have been a Chevy convertible "Corvair" than sea-going pirate corsair or Vought F4U Corsair carrier plane. |
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ElectraglideInBluebeard Baretta did manage to immortalize one particularly good pirate line, though: "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Yaaargh." |
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A cock by any other name would piss you off as much.
The whole point of pirates is carefree illegality, laced with parrots, duels and lots and lots of rum. If the police were going to go pirate all the way then I might be in favour ("Yarrgh! I'll let you off this ticket, but only if you can beat the monkey to the top of yonder palm tree!")but as it is this is like dressing a lawyer as an ice cream man. [-] |
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I guess they could each be equipped with a trained police monkey... |
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"Oi! If you can beat me little mate Starsky 'ere to the top o' yonder palm tree, then I'll be lettin' you orf this ticket." |
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"But... I can't see any palm trees?" |
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"Arr, matey, don't be arguin' with me, fer I be Sarn't Midnight, terror of Route 17!" |
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I thought this was going to be a series of 'alternative' yet pirate-themed porographic films. I'm rather relieved. |
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I worry about the combination of wooden legs and high speed pursuit. |
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It's still funny, though [+] |
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Yeah, I'd love chasing monkeys of trees too. Hell, I'd probably become a copirate. Yarrgh. <Shudder at thought of bieng a cop> |
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