h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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[8/7] glanced nervously over his shoulder, trying to judge whether he would be able to make it back to his warm, cosy battle tank before they got him, after release... Experience told him it was going to be tight.
Plucking up what he had left of his somewhat wavery courage, and throwing the last of
his precious supplies of caution to the winds, he finally loosened the last knot on his M21-A2 Wildcat (21 very large, angry, rabid felines with frickin' LASER beams on their heads; poison-tipped flechettes on their claws and guts full of raw sardines and laxatives, jostled in a bag for a few minutes).
He turned and bolted, moving as quickly as his bulk allowed (Too many experiments with those decadent MREs the Yanks kept sending... nothing like hard biscuits and Vegemite, not at all) before clambering onto the engine cover of his personal Chieftain, and down the bolthole to safety.
[8/7] hated almost all cats but this lot were to prove useful. The creeping barrage of water spray that forced them towards the enemy's positions had done its work well; all but one of the cats were now within yards of the suspected enemy positions.
He turned on the "LASERs", toggling the "buzzer" button as he did, causing the cats to startle and run toward the enemy, as the electric shock administered by the "buzzer" stirred them on. Slapping the quick release button, twenty small but powerful packages of explosive and ball bearings slipped to the ground, one from the head of each cat, each "LASER" revealed to be a Claymore mine, bouncing amongst the enemy combatants.
Later reports would put the casualty count in the low hundreds, as enemy medical staff dealt with deep wounds laced with rotting fish and liquid catshit. Unlikely the enemy would try to capture the cats again, after that experience. 18 of the successful 20 crept back to [8/7]'s tank later that night, in search of their favourite dinner.
[8/7] absently stroked his own pussy, sitting comfortably by the fire, looking for all the world like a large, smug ball of fur and contentment.
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Curious as to how this one's gonna get along with the protagonist... Also, that's going to be quite a large bag! And finally, I know cats with lasers is not a new hat, but this imagery is hilarious, all water jets and cats inadvertently killing everything around them. |
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"absently stroking his own pussy" ought to get some kind of reaction. |
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When (not if) you get to Hell, We will be waiting for you...... |
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<Blows [8/7] a coy kiss.> |
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You can't possibly be suggesting cats with laser pointers on their head, they'd be chasing off all over the... Oh, wait...
Cry havoc and let slip the cats of war
Hang on, didn't you used to be [UnaBubba]? |
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That was in a previous universe. There are other worlds than these few. |
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Bun from me for the concept. |
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"More pissed off than the dogs, but also tend to lose interest fast." |
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Cats come in all different sizes. For instance, a lion or a tiger that's more pissed off than a dog is likely to be a rather interesting proposition for someone to handle. They tend to be less inclined to lose interest than most critters, too. |
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I wonder how many people take laser-pointers to the Big Cat House at the zoo... |
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What, once, or more than once ..... ? |
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