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It's always exciting here at The Church Of Eternal Discounts... some products are free, some are at cost but nothing is ever at full price.
We can offer you practically anything you need but not everything you might want, at the right price. That's because we're registered as a charitable organisation
and are therefore exempted from taxation in most countries.
You'll worship at the Altar of Material Possession, our most sacred shrine, every day once you discover us. No more guilt trips, no more buyer's remorse because you know it's all in a good cause.
If we make a profit we plough it back into more stock and aid for the starving children of Africa, the vanishing Golden Lion Tamarins of South America or invest it in the coffers of the Holy VatoCash.
Choose wisely; No refunds... and remember, when it comes time to leave this Earthly paradise you can bequeath it all back to The Church Of Eternal Discounts for resale, because you sure as shootin' can't take it with you, brothers and sisters.
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Cheap bun as long as it doesn't devolve into a bad rummage and bake sale. And if the sign is written in pink. |
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Of course we can do signs in pink (or Punk, in New Zealand). As for rummage and bake; No garbage sale here, my son. At The Church Of Eternal Discounts we must hold ourelves to a higher standard... |
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Like the man says, Everybody Saves"". |
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... its like you're turning consumerism into a religion. |
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How many Laws of Acquisition does it have ? |
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