The Defense of Fort McBakery

Oh, say can you see, by your screen's feeble light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose fishbones and croissants, through the perilous night,
While the recent page watched, other halfbakers dreaming?
Can you guess who’s been here, there are bombs everywhere,
Take heart through the night that Utah is still there.
O say, does that half-bake’d webpage yet call
To more than just me, and of course, each of y'all?

On the roll, dimly seen through the rings of cream cheese,
Where the belle of the ‘bakery in Redmond reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, a hullaballoon, now discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the screen:
'Tis the halfbakers’ homepage! O long may it reign
As the best thing that ever came, out of Silicon Valley.

And where is that man who so waxfully dreamed
Of a pager to tell you your clothes have been cleaned?
Do the Hollywood Hills, the digit simply beckon no more?
Thine hand has wiped out many foul footpad's pollution.
No refuge could save as the feeding trolls gorge
On the burgeoning works, of the master troll George:
Yet the halfbakers’ homepage in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Oh! thus be it ever, where the blue herons stand
In the forested swamps of the Kon-rek-ikuts’ lands!
Blest with victory and peace, at Sorta Claus’s right hand,
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a Bozo.
Then conquer we must, for our cause it is lost,
And this be our motto: "Viva los Semi-panaderos."
'Tis the halfbakers’ homepage! O long may it reign
It’s the best on the ‘net, bless’d be Jutta’s brain.