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I CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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1 Vomit Comet Airplane (or reasonable airplane
thereof) with computerized inside wall displays.
2 Google Earth with the ability to select destination by
address (say mother-in-law's house, your boss's house, or
whatever might be of interest at the moment.
zoom view to be broadcast on the above
mentioned simulator walls as you "descend"
3 A ride car that looks like a cylindrical missile, with the
rider seated in the appropriate position
4 Video camera that records the ride including the
satisfying mushroom cloud explosion at the end and any
important statements you might want to make while in
5. The all important social network of choice Share
button once you are satisfied with the results.
||A robotic glove to wear that occasionally tries to
attack your throat might be a good addition.
||*One* hundred dollars in roubles
*One* hundred dollars in gold
*One* pair silk stockings
*One* packet, *pro*...phylactics
||Gentlemen, gentlemen. You can't fight here, this is a war room!
||All sponsored by Coca-Cola, I assume?
||They're after our essential fluids!
||Nothing more than a conspiracy by the Military-Industrial- Entertainment complex.
||We blame CNN, the Disney corporation and, for some inexplicable reason, Erich von Däniken (who, alarmingly, is almost entirely correct in his assertions, except that he never mentions the fact that cats are evil creatures of extra-terrestrial origin).
||So you have something in common with them, after all.