h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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A very lifelike model mallard, perched upon your shoulder for your protection.
Whenever you approach a doorway, or anything that you might not fit beneath, The Duck quacks loudly to ensure you don't accidentally strike your head.
May also be programmed to warn of incoming baseballs, pigeon droppings
and punches.
baked
http://www.youtube....watch?v=zW7nA0uq6WQ
The muppets interpretation [pashute, Sep 18 2009]
cooked
http://www.youtube....watch?v=S1vywaIbQGY
Duck's revenge on the Muppet show [pashute, Sep 18 2009]
Coevolution of Male and Female Genital Morphology in Waterfowl
http://www.plosone....ournal.pone.0000418
[Ian Tindale, Sep 18 2009]
[link]
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baked: one-eyed pirates/parrots. |
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I have never seen a one eyed pirate with a duck on its shoulder. Neither have I seen a one eyed parrot with a duck on its shoulder. Do parrots even have shoulders? |
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So... it provides a form of accident insurance, then? Well,
insurance by prevention, sure, but still... insurance. This calls not
for an emerald mallard, but a snow-white, yellow-billed Aflac
duck. |
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Sometimes you might desire it to be quiet - so it could just grip your shoulder with its feet - sending you the information through the web. |
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As [FT] noted, a parrot with a laser range-finder would be better "pieces of 8.217mm, pieces of 8.217mm ...". Either that or we could do "Predator vs Pirate". |
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oh dear, UB your clever son has hacked into your hb ID again! great idea for a 10 year old. |
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This was actually the inspiration for my Trip-Avoidance Shoes
post. Wear both and you'll be bump free forever! |
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I have enough trouble without him hacking my HB account. |
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He's 8, and has decided to tap into our internet connection because the 2 wireless internet accounts I supplied him and his sister have been maxed out on bandwidth and are shaped to 64kbps until the end of the month. |
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Last night I discovered he had installed a wireless router (It's a built-in feature in an old DSL router he found) in our work network and got their laptops' wireless connections booted up and was trying to find the password to log in to the work network so he could suck our bandwidth dry, as well. |
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By the way, just so we're clear, I voted *for* this idea. I'd prefer
either a live duck or a hat with a laser range-finder or FLIR to
detect imminent collisions (I like to keep it real, and I like to be
low-key), but I like the concept, and can easily
envisage some intrepid Halfling walking around with one of
these. |
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Also, it just occurred to me that this, along with my similarly-
themed shoes, would likely be well-appreciated by the blind
community. |
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Being a tall man with a love for ducks, I must say this is one
of the best things I have seen in the HB. [+] |
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I'd like a shin version. + |
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Ohhhh Bubba, "like father, like son" perhaps? |
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I hope not, [blissy], I hope not. |
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I hate hitting my head on things. Type A personality, so I tend to be moving rather quickly when I collide with anything, inflicting great harm and pain upon myself. |
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I get it! hahaha.... nice pun. |
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Well, it wouldn't be a parrot, would it? |
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What daseva said... it took me a while, though. |
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You guys just quack me up, honestly. |
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[Ian], being web enabled, it has bluetooth and hence there's no bill. |
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What about a penguin version for cold climates ? |
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If the duck is ill, do you go to see a quack doctor ? |
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It's a machine, so it will need no doctor. Resistor is futile. |
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Just hope it doesn't fly off the handle when it gets upset. |
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[+] pocmac, since when is a pirate an it? |
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Gender neutral language don't y' know - just trying to be inclusive to all the lady pirates. There are he parrots and she parrots as well, but I didn't see you getting all activistic about them! |
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Oh, we're all just going through a rough patch at the moment. We'll return to our usual racist, bigoted, politically incorrect, all-singing, all-dancing, all-naked, all-the-time programming, soon. |
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//Whenever you approach a doorway, or anything that you might not fit beneath, The Duck quacks loudly to ensure you don't accidentally strike your head//
Presumably, if it fails in its duties, you have a grouse. |
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The thought makes me quail. |
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//Would this be expensive?//
I suspect that the cost would depend heavily on price. |
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Expensive enough that we won't be crowing about how affordable they might be. |
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Bastard! Hit my head again this morning. There's a low doorway into the storeroom. Gets me every time. |
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Hang a cardboard sign thats much lower. If you duck to avoid that, you'll most likely miss the hard stuff (unless that's what the storeroom is for). |
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Yeah, you're right. It usually gets me when I'm working in the yard, tired and wearing a hat. I forget about it and can't see it above the hat brim. |
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