Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Girl From Ipanema Goes Washing

wash clothes but dream of beaches
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Washing machines and dishwashers tend to be quite noisy at certain times during their operating cycle. This may be ok in the larger homes of rich colony dwellers, but in the puny shoe-box sized apartments common place in the UK, these machines often share people’s living spaces. This means that their distracting noises are always close, and seldom welcome.

One type of noise that everyone enjoys is the sound that emerges from natural forces in action - like waves crashing against rocks; chaotic water tumbling over rapids; warm winds blowing through palm leaves or sweeping across sand dunes.

The idea is therefore to supplant the mechanical churnings of these infernal washing devices with that of the more subtly soothing sounds sourced from nature.

Modifications to the internal workings and timings of the machines would ensure that replica wave sounds issued forth during their operation - for example: in the washing cycle, we might listen to waves breaking on the pristine beaches of Tora Bora. Rinsing could treat us to water cascading over the Victoria Falls. Spinning/drying would have to be some wind generated phenomena like that of the Mistral; the Chinook or a howling gale in the middle of the Atlantic blowing through the sails of an ocean going yacht.

Next time the weekly load of washing is put on, just select the natural tones programme of choice and relax as the sound of breaking surf on Ipanema begins to fill the room. (Stan Getz/Astrud Gilberto optional)

xenzag, Apr 21 2016

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       I read an article by a New York city dweller who envisioned the traffic noise outside his apartment as waves on a beach and they became that, lulling him to sleep. As recall when he later was sleeping near a real beach the louder real wave sounds were sort of terrifying, as though he were sleeping on the curb.   

       I think a dishwasher could be made into the ocean with only slight modifications: maybe some rhythmicity, maybe a seagull now and again.   

       +
bungston, Apr 21 2016
  

       You could always pull it out of the hole, add some sound baffling blanket around it, and stuff it back in.
RayfordSteele, Apr 22 2016
  

       I missed this somehow. Love the title, and I love the idea!!!+
blissmiss, Apr 24 2016
  

       And all for only six quarters.
popbottle, Apr 17 2017
  

       Nice, a sleep hibernation function so the washing gets done in a transitional moment.
wjt, Apr 18 2017
  
      
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