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The Good Bread
Individual sandwich packs of the very finest bread in the land | |
Bread comes in loaves... which, when sliced, take a while to finish, rendering the final slices of the loaf less than perfect. The best slices are the two in the middle of the loaf, hereinafter known as the "good bread".
The idea is this: We take the middle two slices out of every loaf and package
these premium slices separately, cushioned in an inert gas and premium foil packaging. This will keep them fresh and soft until they are to be consumed.
The two best slices of bread you can get, for the best sandwich you can make; every time.
Please ensure that it is Organically Sliced
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[iron_horse, Aug 31 2009]
[link]
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I don't understand. Wouldn't the first two slices (not inluding
the heel) be the best? |
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The thing that needs fixing, then, is the cutting
method. Existing cutting methods have poor quality
control effects. Once the ideal slicing method is
implemented, you could then make the infinite loaf
machine (has this been proposed on the hb? I thought
it had) which involves the input of a crop-rotation set
of fields growing the appropriate grain, a freshwater
stream that runs through fine gravel filtering, the
various other ingredients, and a yeast bush. These, as
they grow and feed in, are kneeded and left to do
that rising thing that pre-bread
does, and then gets half baked, then the other half,
and finally emerges out of the bread tap to be sliced
off using the perfect pair-slicer. About a pair of slices
each quarter of an hour. |
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I'm feeling rather badly for the heels. How did they
garner such a crappy rep? They are named after ugly
thugs, or the bottom of shoes, neither really pretty,
and they get fed to the birds. |
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Couldn't ya have found a little bit of glory for them,
Bubba? Just a wee bit at least? |
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I know exactly what you're talking about, Bub. Fantastic idea. [+] |
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I found my eight-year-old son at it the other day, rummaging about with his arm in the bread wrapper, trying to get the "good bread" for his after-school sandwich. |
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How about bread wrappers with a perforation in the middle
for easy "Good Bread" access? |
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//with a perforation in the middle// |
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And laser marking on two slices - "certified best loaf slice". |
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Could this be the best thing since...what was that? It's on the tip of my tongue. |
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/Completely ludicrust./ [marked-for-tagline] |
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//...what was that? It's on the tip of my tongue// |
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That would be the sweetness chemoreceptors. |
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How about selling loaves with each slice individually foil wrapped so that every slice is the 'Best Bread'. Even more packaging, yaay! |
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If I may suggest a small modification... I think the best "good" bread is to be obtained by selecting the three center-most slices, and afterward discarding the middle one. And then use the remaining two for your product, ideally packaged with a separator of some fashion. |
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There may be some value in a related notion, that of numbering slices of bread, either by imprint while baking, or crust-branding after baking. Start with 0 for the center-most slice, and increase outwards in both directions. Sandwiches would then have a "good bread" value based on the sum of the slice numbers. |
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The criterion for 'best bread' surely has mostly to do with freshness and shape. The best shape will be found in the middle two slices, or the center slice if cut oddly. Now. Forget about shape, freshness will be optimized right in the very center of the loaf. This is why I propose every loaf has a small 1/2'' cube cut taken from the very center. Individual pieces are then pieced together using these cuts in a well calibrated environment by skilled technicians. The final product is then wrapped in the crust taken from one of the middle pieces, the interface glued together using some sort of edible glue or something. Of course, crustless versions will be produced by nixing this last step. |
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I like the idea of numbered slices. |
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The possibility of having a "pair-of-threes" sandwich is intriguing. After some consideration of posting it separately, I've concluded that it is so closely tied to the idea of "good bread" that it wouldn't thrive outside of the environment you've provided. |
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Thrive is a word that is to be used with caution around here. I would suggest that the only thing thriving here is the by-product of poor time-management practices. |
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