Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Viva los semi-panaderos!

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, best, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                 

The Hypothecary

 For people who think they're sick.
 
(+1, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

Mr Wheeler straightened his white coat, pulled the ladder toward him and climbed to the very top shelf, passing jars filled with shrivelled brown things, odd-looking seeds and rolls of paper. He had been the town hypothecary for as long as I could remember.

What's an hypothecary? Well, it's like a pharmacist, but for other maladies: Lovesickness, fear of speaking in public, unruly hair, that undefined ability to make even a $2,000 suit look shithouse, illnesses of which there is no evidence and for which no explanation, etc.

Relying on a mixture of homilies, family recipes and secret potions, the Hypothecary has a better than average rate of success, because patients WANT TO BELIEVE

—UnaBubba, Sep 16 2003

[link]






       Anyone "passing jars filled with shrivelled brown things, odd-looking seeds and rolls of paper" probably needs a hypothecary.
—FarmerJohn, Sep 16 2003
   

       <Sensing some kind of pun landslide>
What about an apathecary for those that don't care about there illness?
(+, btw)
—Jinbish, Sep 16 2003
   

       watch out [blissmiss], this might be a sharp clip round the head and a gruff instruction to "sort yourself out, woman".
—custardlove, Sep 16 2003
   

       ...and one vial of the Placebo-tox cream please.   

       And don't forget the Placebo Placebo's.
—oneoffdave, Sep 16 2003
   

       Placebo-tox! Very clever, 2fries.   

       "Yes Ma'am, this cream will smooth out the wrinkles around your eyes, lift the corners of your mouth and make your tits bigger. You can buy something similar on the internet, but it's unlikely to be the real thing."
—UnaBubba, Sep 16 2003
   

       Ma'am, can you recommend something for my boy's Munchhausen syndrome? -- our family has an extensive history. And yes, I'm feeling smarter already, thank you.
—n-pearson, Sep 16 2003
   

       This straitjacket should do nicely. Just put it on yourself whenever you feel unloved.
—UnaBubba, Dec 17 2003
   
      
[annotate]
   


 

back: main index
business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle