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The Internet of Pain

An Internet where criticism costs.
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Among the pointlessly bad design aspects of life that I would prefer to be otherwise, is the default requirement for people to always be in ongoing exhausting debt; and the really unhelpful abundance of criticism from every idiot you’ve never met who has a spare ten seconds without deploying any depth of thought to consider one’s contribution.

The first thing can’t be rectified. The second probably can. Merely create an entire alternative Internet in which criticism has a cost. It won’t necessarily be a monetary cost, of course, but could be an effort cost, or a social process cost (i.e., through ritual or ceremony), or just basically inflict pain. The latter is probably easier and therefore is a good place to start. The other fluffier options can come later.

The Internet of Things can be extended and super-setted to become the Internet of Painful Things. A painful thing will inflict pain on someone who criticises another with only a few unconsidered passing seconds of shallow thought with the incorrect expectation that their criticism is accepted and perhaps even required.

An IoT pain inflictor is a difficult thing to get most people to accept at their desks, in their houses, in the office (if they still have a job) or on the toilet. Therefore, the best thing would be to redirect a microwave satellite download beam to cook them. A bit. Just rotate the satellite so that the beam footprint covers the criticiser. After a few of those, they’re brain dead.

Ian Tindale, Dec 17 2015

https://www.explain...php/386:_Duty_Calls [normzone, Dec 17 2015]

[link]






       This is drafted so as to render irrelevant the distinction between constructive criticism and non-constructive criticism. The preceding is an observation with no element of judgement attached or implied.
calum, Dec 17 2015
  

       It took me only 7 unconsidered passing seconds of shallow thought to realized that this idea is the new way of torturing or killing a person or an animal for pleasure or revenge.   

       I would welcome a revision of this idea to be a satellite which by virtue of its insight-enabling radiations cause persons who find themselves with an abundance of proverbial lemons to make them into delicious, useful and salable lemonade.
bungston, Dec 17 2015
  

       Until strong AI happens this will merely require couching insults in glowing terms, you surprising piece of work.
Voice, Dec 18 2015
  

       It's not the blender companies fault you reached inside while it was running.
WcW, Dec 18 2015
  

       There used to be a time where internet companies were keen on people adopting user-names that were 'real' and reflected their real life identities - see "Nymwars" for policies set out by Google and Facebook, who between them account for a fair number of usernames, which (for a short while) mandated the use of real and proper names - I think, in order to promote more sensible internet use. Being critical of something under your own name does carry with it a degree of risk and potential pain that should curtail the worst knee-jerk reactions. The opposite side of that is that by being identifiable, you no longer can be quite as honest as you may have been previously. Or at least you can, but risk a degree of pain for doing so. Thankfully, most negative statements can be expressed thoughtfully and intelligently without exposing the poster as an idiot, or worse, but this takes time, care and costs the poster a little more in expended effort than a more reactionary "Sucks!" or, as I once saw someone post on a youtube posting of mine, "You dick!" which I still find mildly incomprehensible (I mean, why?)
zen_tom, Dec 20 2015
  

       It’s worse than that — sometimes it even affects me! What I want is a life where I am not criticised. That’s what I want, and probably the place to start is to want that on the Internet first, then everywhere else.
Ian Tindale, Dec 20 2015
  

       But of no-one ever criticised you, how would you realise you were a dick, and thus moderate your behaviour accordingly?
pocmloc, Dec 20 2015
  

       a] you wouldn’t. b] therefore you wouldn’t be. c] who really gives a fuck what other people think you should be doing — pretty much everyone else out there is a complete moron and if they died in a terrible combined car accident / wardrobe fire / choking on beetles, it really wouldn’t improve or not improve my life one electron. I’m doing it correct. Others are false, and must be ignored, or if they’re in my way, removed.   

       So you see, it’s not up to anyone else to criticise — anyone else is more likely incorrect. Listening to everyone else only causes people to join a race to the bottom of moronic slavery of mediocrity. Have faith in oneself — that’s all there is.   

       (by the way, yes I hate everybody else, you’re all doing it incorrectly, you should all fuck off and die).
Ian Tindale, Dec 20 2015
  

       //if they’re in my way, removed//   

       Have you considered the purchase of a plump white cat? Also, can I wait until after Christmas to fuck off and die? Only I'm expecting some nice presents.   

       I can't really make the 26th either, and I'm meant to be driving on the 27th. I could probably make new year's eve 2077 though.   

       In any event, banning criticism is a good idea. It could be better, of course.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 20 2015
  

       28th okay for you? In any event, by infuriating ourselves, we commoditise ourselves. You know, with commodes. We become commodities that other Internet peoples intrigue into paying their online fee structures. Into. Net attain meant entertainment. Is that all we are? The other end of a response?
Ian Tindale, Dec 20 2015
  

       Is all this just a very long-winded way of saying "Happy Christmas"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 20 2015
  

       Is it christmas? It’s only just been my birthday the other day. I suppose it must be, then. It usually is.   

       Well, it’s rarely happy, and the “christ” bit can be deleted, so that just leaves “mas”. But you mustn’t trust the masses, they’re incorrect.
Ian Tindale, Dec 20 2015
  

       Could I, perhaps, recommend alcohol? I find it very useful.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 20 2015
  

       You find drinking alcohol useful, or you find recommending it useful? There is an important difference.
pocmloc, Dec 21 2015
  

       Ah. Good point. I would say "both". Both.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 21 2015
  

       Ah, the bitter aroma of distilled mas spirits. A complicated and risky vintage having pessimistic notes and fruity hints of Nietzsche's Will to Power.
LimpNotes, Dec 22 2015
  

       //you should all fuck off and die//   

       Somebody needs a puppy for Christmas.
pertinax, Dec 22 2015
  

       I'd advise against it - there's less meat on them than you think.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 22 2015
  

       There must be a way to actually quantify or measure the effect that a] the whole internet is having on a person and b] the effect that your effect on the internet is.   

       In other words, the internet is basically nothing more than graffiti. This might have different effects and the overall effect of graffiti as a whole sets a tone. Each individual contribution has a tactical effect. It might be that each contribution is always below a baseline, and above that is a generative desired effect, but no individual can position their effort within that band of measurement. Only as a combined and multiplied effect might it produce a measurably positive effect on humanity. Individual scrawling with no accountability is usually unwanted noise, and millions of people simultaneously doing that won’t make it wanted noise — it requires a further process step for that. A kind of banana- shaped thing that curves the intentions, and makes it smooth.
Ian Tindale, Jan 01 2016
  
      
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