h a l f b a k e r yThe leaning tower of Piezo
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How many times have you and your lover decided to (tastefully) desecrate some public place, only to abandon it because of the physical awkwardness of the situation?
"Oh yes... hang on, my foot's caught on the rail..."
"Arg, these stupid pants are stuck."
"No! Don't twist that!"
"Cramp!
Craaaaaaaamp! If you could just shift your weight... OUCH!"
Et cetera. Now, a new Kama Sutra, that deals with the physical awkwardness of specific public places, that includes details on foreplay and positions that suit these spaces - whether they be the confines of a passport photobooth or the green expanses of the golf course in the neighbouring suburb. The positions could also be relevant to terrain ("OW! Gravel!" as oppposed to, say, soft grass). It would also have excersises to increase flexibility, and evasion/escape tactics for use on discovery (or close calls).
And, of course, an appendix - varying with the countries/regions - that lists the local/national laws and suchlike on this act, so that if/when you are caught, you know where you stand...
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This definitely has more class. |
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So what kind of ideas would you have for the middle of a football field? |
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And would there be hints on how to patch the cleatmarks? |
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((((((flashback)))))) And how to extract one's size 12 foot from the glove compartment of a 1964 VW Beetle? |
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If you're going to do it in the middle of a football field, might I suggest you wait for half-time? |
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That was the idea. We wanted to piss off the band director because we knew he couldn't get any. It would have made a great addition to the sexually suggestive forms we had to make. Right on the fifty-yard line. |
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whee. I like this idea. A good subject might be how to avoid the accidental knocking off of the female hygiene trash-can on the wall in a women's restroom stall. |
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Easily one of the greatest thoughts of our time. |
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oh the constrictions and liberations of a pine picnic bench....... namastay! |
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If it had illustrations in the style of airplane emergency information cards, I'd buy it. |
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The congress of the multi-storey car park (on a car bonnet). |
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The congress of the kebab wrapper ( entwined atop a litter bin). |
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The congress of the feral cat (from behind, noisy, ended with a bucket of cold water). |
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The congress of the boss and temp (in office lift). |
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The congress of the bus queue ( standing up). |
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[nichpo] - I like that idea. |
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...the congresss of the *kebab wrapper*? |
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"Oh, like the back of a Volkswagen?" |
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