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The Sacrificial Hat

Wind-worthy headwear
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When a gust of wind grabs your hat, you don’t stand a chance. The hat lifts off before your hand is halfway up, and then you look silly chasing it down the street as it bounces and rolls like an acrobatic rabbit. Instead, get a sacrificial hat, and your bare-headed, windy days are over.

Available in models ranging from Panama to fedora to baseball cap, the clever chapeau works by shedding its thin outer layer to remain on the brain. The outer hat’s satin lining allows it to depart in high winds, leaving a narrow-brimmed cap hugging the skull. The two are joined by a cord that serves three purposes.

The cord keeps the outer hat from disappearing among tires, shoes and dog teeth. The cord is attached to the inside crown of the retreating part, causing it to turn inside out to diminish air drag. Most importantly, the other end of the cord is interlaced through the inner hat’s sweatband, so the pull on the cord causes it to grip the cranium like the drawstring of a purse.

Then merely reel in your flapping headgear half, reunite it with its mate and press on through the cruel elements with covered head held high.

FarmerJohn, Feb 07 2004

picture of hat in action http://www.geocitie....html?1076151739625
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Another kind of flying hat http://www.amazon.c...82-0498342?v=glance
[theircompetitor, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Sacramental Flying Hat http://tvmusic.topc...ics/2flying_nun.jpg
Sally Field put her head gear to a higher purpose. [jurist, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       Ah, le chapeau sacrificatoire!
hippo, Feb 07 2004
  

       is the inner hat glued onto your head?
po, Feb 07 2004
  

       Excuse me madam, but your rottweiller seems to have run off with one half of my sacrificial hat. I wouldn't have troubled you, only my scalp is beginning to tingle in an alarming fashion.
Fishrat, Feb 07 2004
  

       [po] Rather it gently garrotes your scalp.
FarmerJohn, Feb 07 2004
  

       The Sacrificial Limb: For the savage tribes with a sense of proportionality.   

       Wait, I think I'm in the wrong thread
theircompetitor, Feb 07 2004
  

       sounds painful, FJ
po, Feb 07 2004
  

       So, it's a decoy that fools the wind in to thinking that it has already blown your hat off so it will then go away and bother someone else?
half, Feb 07 2004
  

       The wind is not so easily fooled! The inner hat must look like natural hair.
1st2know, Feb 07 2004
  

       Sailors and dutch people also like the wind.   

       But seriously, couldn't you change the aerodynamic properties of the hat to give it a boomerang-like returning flight path?
kropotkin, Feb 07 2004
  

       The utility is obvious, but I'm unconvinced that the inner hat has the compression power to remain on your head. I suggest a nylon-strap halter worn under the clothes to which a more ordinary hat is attached by a lanyard. (Confession: I just wanted to use the word "lanyard.")   

       [po] Not mine, you can't.
ConsultingDetective, Feb 07 2004
  

       is there a fetish involving seeing the word lanyard in print?   

       CD - "owns a penis"? can you rent one?
po, Feb 07 2004
  

       kropotkin -- thanks for reminding me of one of my favorite movies -- see link
theircompetitor, Feb 07 2004
  

       //can you rent one?//

Don't forget to rewind it.
1st2know, Feb 07 2004
  
      
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