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The Shower Bed

Combining two of my favourite things.
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Whilst slumbering in the gentle lulls between violent stabs of the sleep button on my alarm clock this morning, I found myself slowly piecing together the following idea…

Imagine a bed that’s plumbed into your home. The mattress is a soft and spongy honeycomb-like affair that affords unparalleled comfort and support, but also offers excellent drainage possibilities. The cosy toasty warm duvet terminates somewhere beyond your tootsies in a small hose-like attachment that connects with the base of your bed. The hose inside the duvet branches off into a series of unrealistic optic-fibre-esque tubes that snuggle in to the hopelessly snug duvet filling and permeate its entire entirety entirely.

Then, instead of a horrible, head-jangling alarm going off of a morning, at the required time the shower bed simply switches itself on, and deliciously warm water wakes you from your cocoon of sleep. The impossibly small fibre optic hoses secrete tiny drips of pleasure onto your supine body, and the hot water is then filtered through the honeycombed mattress and into the bed’s base, where the plumbing fairies presumably take care of it.

Instead of reaching for the sleep button on your alarm clock, you just reach for that little bar of soap you placed on your bed-side table the night before, and go about your usual ablutions while remaining comfortably horizontal, postponing the actual moment of leaving said bed for a few blissful minutes more.

Eventually you rise: clean, refreshed, and bright as a new pin, having combined those luxurious post-sleep slumbers with an actual wash. You’re all up and ready for a new day as you begin the usual stolid plod to work.

And while you’re at work, gentle heaters and fans in the base of the bed diligently ensure that your shower bed is all dry and warm and nice and clean and comfy for you again when you flop back into it at the end of the day.

You could probably even wee in it with impunity, should you be so inclined.

lostdog, Feb 06 2008

Could Be Combined With This dissolving_20pajamas
By [egnor]. [lostdog, Feb 10 2008]

[link]






       But my clothes would get all wet.
globaltourniquet, Feb 06 2008
  

       I don't have any PJs. I sleep in what I wore that day.   

       I am a lazy SOB, huh? My wife must really love me.
globaltourniquet, Feb 06 2008
  

       Apologies for any misunderstandings, GT - I'm a bit squiffy at the moment, to be honest, and my PJs consist of me wearing my pants on my head. No offense meant.
lostdog, Feb 06 2008
  

       What a coincidence. That's my party costume.
globaltourniquet, Feb 06 2008
  

       Sounds amazing. Couple it with the Radiator Man and you have a morning ritual worth waking up for.
theleopard, Feb 07 2008
  

       Kind of negates the whole "cleaning yourself" aspect of the idea, though, UB.
lostdog, Feb 08 2008
  

       yes, there are probably other applications for a bed which "offers excellent drainage"...
hippo, Feb 08 2008
  

       I was mildly indifferent to this idea until I read that last line. Any innovation (with the exception of a toilet) which allows you to 'wee in it', with impunity or otherwise, is seriously flawed.
mecotterill, Feb 08 2008
  

       Not a big fan of normal showers, then? Or buckets? Or fields, for that matter?
lostdog, Feb 08 2008
  

       And washing machines.   

       Or is that just me?
jtp, Feb 08 2008
  

       I can wee in any innovation you can come up with, my friend.
globaltourniquet, Feb 08 2008
  

       So somewhere, in a galaxy far, far away, there's a just a gargantuan pile of lonely, mismatched socks (now slightly sodden with wee)?
lostdog, Feb 08 2008
  

       //I can wee in any innovation you can come up with//
  

       electrified fence
FlyingToaster, Feb 08 2008
  

       Hello [lostdog]. Nice bed. Or shower.
wagster, Feb 10 2008
  

       Nice. Consider me suitably edified.
lostdog, Feb 29 2008
  

       Warm water is comforting. I would probably awaken and lay back down until a timer turned the water off. Then I would need to reach for the soap and manually turn the water back on.
ed, Feb 29 2008
  

       marked-for-tagline   

       "I can wee in any innovation you can come up with "   

       Also, as mis-seen above,   

       "Make mine a do-able"
normzone, Feb 29 2008
  

       /deliciously warm water wakes you from your cocoon of sleep./   

       mmm nice.   

       Wait, I didn't invent the shower bed yet!
bungston, Feb 29 2008
  
      
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