Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Swedish Bun Bather

being water-legged without shame
  (+5)
(+5)
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There’s a Swedish drinking song that absolutely emulates the spirit of our product, and it goes roughly like this:

Wetting the bed and having fun,
lying here was such a bore.
Warm cheeks like in the summer sun,
think I’ll wet it a little more!

You surely remember that warm, pleasant sensation that long ago engulfed your loins. You certainly also recall with shivering disgust the cold clamminess that spread afterwards.

Our soggy slacks give you all the good feelings without any of the shortcomings. The hi-tech, diametrical diaper features waterproof outer fabric, heater and fan, thigh tie-offs, ventilation ports high on the sides and an IV bag of fresh water in a detective-style holster under your arm. You choose when you want to flood your tub trousers, and you choose when to exsiccate, percolating vapor trails from your hips.

No wetness will stain your leather chair. Only you will know you’re sitting in tepid, humid heaven and will be talcum-dry by bedtime. A word of warning: it would be rash to not do your duty *before* donning your bun bathers.

FarmerJohn, Jan 08 2004

[link]






       Your taking the piss..sorry couldn't resist.
skinflaps, Jan 08 2004
  

       Yep:   

       Kiss i sängen och ha det bra,
ligga lite och fundera.
Varm om stjärten som en sommardag,
jag tror jag kissar lite mera!
FarmerJohn, Jan 08 2004
  

       You... but... um... hmmm. +
Detly, Jan 08 2004
  

       I didn't realise you were that old, [FJ]. I do wonder about the odour that would emanate from such legwear, and I'm not sure I'd really want to do this. Fishbone withheld for now.
PeterSilly, Jan 08 2004
  

       I believe there are specialist sites on the web where people such as you can discuss your hobby in great detail. No doubt many of them will now find the Half Bakery as a result of this idea so can we expect a 'deluge' of piss-related inventions now?
dobtabulous, Jan 08 2004
  

       //I believe there are specialist sites…// I wouldn’t know, or fabricate hobbies for you. Instead of getting all out of joint, see this more as a mobile Jacuzzi that doesn’t involve the bladder.
FarmerJohn, Jan 08 2004
  

       Touche !
skinflaps, Jan 08 2004
  

       Bun Baster, surely?
phoenix, Jan 08 2004
  

       // getting all out of joint //   

       Not. Just attempting to be funny and looking forward to the deluge!
dobtabulous, Jan 08 2004
  

       [Tiger Lily], there is no piss in the idea. Only the mention of it. Please don't crusade for the right where there is no wrong. This isn't a slam on the elderly. This is as harmless as mud socks and probably just as kinesthetically interesting. I give it a plus. +
k_sra, Jan 08 2004
  

       oh pee jokes is it?
Space-Pope, Jan 08 2004
  

       hhhmmm, well....this is definately an odd idea. Butt the more i think about it, the more i would find it fun to get some enemys back by popping their Bun Bathers....heeheehee
babyhawk, Jan 08 2004
  

       //You would have no possible knowledge of what was meant unless I sat down with you and had a very long talk.//   

       I thought you were attacking needlessly. Sorry for the misconstruction. : )
k_sra, Jan 08 2004
  

       I appreciate your response K_sra. Thank you.   

       Now there is something else I was going to say but I am feeling quite bashful all of a sudden. Still, I will do this for K_sra.   

       Recall the recent witch hunt? The scare from all that devil talk and a mysterious newbie named henrietta_hugglbee?   

       Well... that was me.   

       I was just following fishrat's instructions to impersonate UB.   

       <Tiger Lily posing as henrietta_hugglebee trying to pass as the "real 'UB'">

          "Crikey mate...Why does everyone think I'm a guy?"


   [UB], I owe you. I presumed all would see it for the party joke it was meant to be, regardless of any occasional and transparent cursing that's exchanged.
Tiger Lily, Jan 08 2004
  

       TL, sp: gall.   

       if you are serious in thinking that //The scare from all that devil talk and a mysterious newbie named henrietta_hugglbee? // was a witch-hunt, I can assure you that there was a great deal of tongue in cheek and halfbakery amusement involved and your perception of the reaction is a perfect example of what blissy might call "misconstruation" - witch-hunts here tend not to be so subtle.   

       back to FJ's Idea?
po, Jan 08 2004
  

       Oh no! I sense yet another miscontruation...   

       po, regarding the term "witch hunt" specifically, I'd meant this in a playful manner as it reflected one of fishrat's annotations about the mysterious henrietta. //Would some body burn/ drown/ throw onions at...//   

       This is just comedy to me and shouldn't be confused in other matters. That's all.
Tiger Lily, Jan 08 2004
  

       No, seriously, [FJ], did you get water in your kayak? How'd you come up with this?
k_sra, Jan 08 2004
  

       TL, fine :)
po, Jan 08 2004
  

       I've never been accused of having good taste, but ewwww ...   

       I've never experienced any remotely positive aspects of wetting myself.   

       Sorry, but it gets a fishy from me.
DrAstroZoom, Jan 08 2004
  

       [k-sra] I really have no idea and have yet to swamp the boat. DrZoom gave me an inspiration: now if one added fish to the fluid...
FarmerJohn, Jan 08 2004
  

       ... you could sell the undies on the internet - to FREAKS!
k_sra, Jan 08 2004
  

       fish to the fluid - seminal idea?
po, Jan 08 2004
  

       sp: salmonal?
Worldgineer, Jan 08 2004
  

       But if you put fish in the undies, you'd have to have a disco light, plus all the "accidental" peeing in there would kill the fish real fast.   

       (Disco light fish pants, just for the feel of them, really. I don't care what I look like, because I don't have to look at me.)
oxen crossing, Jan 10 2004
  

       yuck.
mapgrrl, Jan 10 2004
  

       This invention is like a sitz bath only better, because you can use the Bun Bather anywhere, any time. Sitz baths are great for relieving discomfort of prostatitis, cystitis, piles, and other pelvic pains.
robinism, Jan 30 2005
  

       the last time i pissed in a wetsuit, they asked me to leave the scuba store
benfrost, Jan 30 2005
  
      
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