Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Waiter Game

Hours of Restaurant Fun
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This game can be played in several variations depending on the required reaction.

A. The Waiter Game (Basic)

You go to a busy restaurant that has outdoor seating dressed as a waiter - complete with order book, pencil, apron etc. The idea of the game is to take people's order without the staff catching you. Once you take the order you disappear around a corner and watch. Hilarity entails as the real waiter comes to the table and asks if they have been served to which they will answer yes - ending up waiting for food that will never arrive. The winner of the game is the player with the most successful orders and recieves a coloured ribbon.

B. The Waiter Game (Switcheroo)

For this version, you do the same as above but you have printed, prior to the game, a menu with strange, indecipherable and/or offensive items.

"The Twing-Twong casserole is quite popular I assure you sir - in fact our restaurant is renowned for its tender Twing-Twongs"

"The special today madame is the garotted virgin terrier in a white glue paste"

"Well sir, I would recommend the freshly folded bond follscap at $8.95"

The player with the most successful orders recieves a coloured ribbon.

C. The Waiter Game (Serving Round)

In this version, you wait until the real waiter has taken a patrons order, and after an appropriate amount of time before the waiter returns you appear with a previously prepared tray of 'meals'.

An uncooked fish on a plate garnished with basil,

an aesthetic arrangement of pebbles with a little white sauce to the side

or a croissant sliced delicately down the centre (with a little card reading 50c).

The player who manages to serve the most amount of 'meals' successfully is awarded a coloured ribbon.

If a player does get caught during any of the versions of 'The Waiter Game', they can simply explain that 'it is only a game' and that there are coloured ribbons involved.

benfrost, May 06 2001

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       I'd rather play The Cashier Game
thumbwax, May 06 2001
  

       half-funny.
gen1000, May 06 2001
  

       LOL. Well worth trying, so long as you can run fast enough. Another version is the "Radio Shack Salesman Game," in which you could offer customers technological wonders such as the digital skillet, the electric flounder, and e-sausage.
smatheis, May 06 2001
  

       Since defrauding an innkeeper could net you about the jailtime you'd get from shoplifting, I'd suggest you have a ribbon to keep your letters from home in a neat bundle.
reensure, May 06 2001
  

       I think I was actually served the garotted virgin terrier in a white glue paste, once, with shallots in a port-wine reduction. I didn't mind that so much, but then they charged me $10 for a glass of Chardonnay, the bastards!   

       Technically, this is not "defrauding an innkeeper," this is "annoying the customers." Is there really a crime of "impersonating a waiter"? Come to think of it, yes, I've encountered many sullen non-actors, dressed in all black, who could properly be said to "impersonate" waiters--and not very convincingly, either.
deacon, May 30 2001
  

       You forgot round four, where you offer them a check that's about three times more than they actually owe, and round five, where you take the check with payment and disappear. I believe these might fall into the category of defrauding an innkeeper, but it's just a game ...   

       Oh, and Round Six: "We've secretly replaced the coffee creamer at Chez Snob with Folger's Anthrax. Let's see if they notice the difference."
arghblah, Nov 10 2001
  

       Another variation: Take the order, and actually take it to the kitchen, after waiting a decent amount of time-say, the typical hour (If anyone asks who you are, say it was a same-day hiring because the restraunt is so busy, and leave quickly). Then take your time delivering it to the table. When they complain, act very insulted and rudely reply, "The thanks I get, when I don't even work here!" Then leave VERY quickly, preferrably in the getaway car that was illegally parked along the curb.
canitbee, Jul 20 2002
  

       Two ribbons for that one.
canitbee, Jul 20 2002
  

       isn't that how it actually happens in restaurants?
shelley, Jul 20 2002
  

       Yes, unfortunately. The trick is pulling it off without anyone realizing you don't actually work there until you've finished.
canitbee, Jul 24 2002
  
      
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