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Times Lewd Roman

A sneaky variation of Times New Roman
  (+29, -3)(+29, -3)(+29, -3)
(+29, -3)
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Instead of the customary serifs that characterise the classic typeface, Times Lewd Roman is subtly embellished with erogenous detail.

These are placed very discretely on each letter so as not to be immediately obvious, as Times is a very sober and upright citizen in the typographic world. Tiny sets of testicles would dangle demurely from the bottom of some letters, others would display erections poised at various angles, while bums, breast, nipples and vaginal detail would conceal themselves easily at strategic points throughout the entire font. At sizes less than 12 point, these would probably only be identifiable under a magnifying glass. The range would naturally extend itself into upper and lower case, along with all the symbols and numerals, with the ligatures being able to engage in penetrative copulation of every kind. There are other "rude" typefaces, but they are very graphic, loud and obvious. Times Lewd's true nature only reveals itself on very close inspection.

The typeface would be especially useful when writing to some humourless religious fanatic, anti-environmentalist, political warmonger, animal abuser, whale hunting scum, etc etc - they're all in my sights. Wish them a nice day, or some other dimwitted platitude, using a typeface that quietly depicts the "e" happily engaging in doggie tricks with the "a".

xenzag, Jan 13 2006

These lewd fonts aren't so sneaky... http://www.musicaec...glisherotic0001.htm
[DrCurry, Jan 13 2006]

(?) More Erotic Fonts http://www.legzie.com/erfonts.html
....bringing a whole new meaning to "for personal use only" [DrCurry, Jan 13 2006]

[link]






       Putting images of lewd areas in hidden places is possibly the highest form of humour (apart from the crudely drawn penis). Have a bun   

       How are fonts made? Is there a program you can use to make your own fonts?
miasere, Jan 13 2006
  

       (+) [xenzag] There is a Computer:Font category.   

       Keep writing those letters!
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 13 2006
  

       thanks consulFlaminus - didn't spot that place - will move idea, and yes I do write a lot of letters.   

       miasere - there is an excellent programme called Fontographer, very comprehensive, ridiculously cheap, given its capabilities and it's easily available
xenzag, Jan 13 2006
  

       Ta
miasere, Jan 13 2006
  

       [+] Although I don't know if I'd use it myself, I think it's really creative thinking!
xandram, Jan 13 2006
  

       boy, are you on the right idea?
po, Jan 13 2006
  

       chaucer probably made his own little doodles.
po, Jan 13 2006
  

       i can visualize two elderly bibliophiles haggling over a rare "penis" printing of macbeth..
riemann_ranger, Jan 13 2006
  

       I thought most schoolboys added their own embellisments?
egbert, Jan 13 2006
  

       hey r_r, welcome to hb! very funny!   

         

       & eggy, their own spelins
po, Jan 13 2006
  

       [Supreme Court of Chronology]   

       Yeah, they've been stacked towards the conservative side for some time now.
normzone, Jan 13 2006
  

       [xenzag] - please send me letters.
wagster, Jan 14 2006
  

       sp. sneaky.
bristolz, Jan 14 2006
  

       bristolz - thanks for sp spotting.
xenzag, Jan 14 2006
  

       If sufficiently sneaky, I'd use Lewd Time Roman for business correspondence. Maybe it would have a subliminal "good feeling" effect, thus working to my advantage. nice.
Zuzu, Jan 15 2006
  

       Or you might just get a law suit.
DrCurry, Jan 15 2006
  

       Come to think of it, I think my two year, "hardly go but can't get out of it", gym membership was drafted in Lewd Times Roman. Yes. I believe it was...   

       Joe, get my attorney on the line!
Zuzu, Jan 16 2006
  

       It would be brilliant if it matched the mother font metrics exactly, (ie it looked the same apart from the embellishments) - then you could use it for emphasis.
Loris, Jul 05 2013
  

       [+] Could also drive a whole new font option; instead of just "Bold", "Italics", and "Underlined", we could also have "Masculine", "Feminine", and "Hermaphroditic" options.   

       Next time I have to write a paper on feminist ethics, I might actually enjoy it.
(mans)laughter, Jul 05 2013
  

       Incidentally, there was a famous April 1st hoax by the Guardian, consisting of a several-page pullout section about San Seriffe, a tropical island. The writers noted that the anti-pornography laws had been relaxed, leading to the publication of many risqué books by Seriffean journalists, known collectively as Times Lewd Romances.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 25 2013
  

       I'll take the Sophia Loren font, please
Catullus Junior, Jul 26 2013
  

       The first rude typeface I designed and drew up was Helviticunt. It needs no explanation, and I didn't posted it here because I thought it was a bit too obvious. I never drew up Times Lewd Roman, but maybe someday I will. Perhaps it's already in use and no one has noticed.
xenzag, Jul 26 2013
  
      
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