Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Tastes richer, less filling.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                         

Tiny Ta-Ta Sizer

A cup sizing midget bra stitcher
 
(+4, -4)
  [vote for,
against]

Ladies, don’t settle for generic breast supports whose 2-dimensioned sizing quanta leave so much to be desired in the realms of comfort and fit.

For a properly fitted brasseire, just come to MikeD’s custom bra builders.

Once you enter, you will be escorted to our fitting room. There you will experience the magic of our Tiny Ta-Ta Sizer. Our cup-sizing midget will reach up and take firm hold of your breasts, noting firmness, weight, size and shape.

Mind you, this is no derelict boob grabbing dwarf. Our dwarf was hand selected in his infancy when zen-masters couldn’t help but take notice of the natural skill with which his hands firmly yet gently held the breast from which he fed.

He was taken from his family at the appropriate age and sent deep within the Himalayan Mountains to the temple of the breasts, where he learned ancient mammary secrets passed down from breast-master to breast-master for the last 3000 years. After decades of rigorous training in breast sizing and bra stitching, he was blindfolded and his hands padded with quilted cloth and bound in thick leather straps. In a darkened room, he flawlessly described the subtle anatomical differences in the cooper’s ligaments between the breasts of two identical twins, after a 5 second tactile examination using only the backs of his hands.

He was then brought here to serve as our tiny ta-ta sizer.

After a quick, (and gentle), examination, our little man will custom craft and hand stitch a brasseire that is matched to your individual breasts in every possible way.

Experience the pinnacle of support and comfort today!

MikeD, May 16 2010

(?) Free Mammogram http://www.eatliver.com/i.php?n=201
You reminded me of this. [Wrongfellow, May 16 2010]

tiny at-at http://laughingsqui...oads/at-at-ball.jpg
[jaksplat, May 16 2010]

[link]






       Brazier?
Are the bras made of copper?
  

       And a smidgen of zinc.   

       Fixed. Thanks [Fries].
MikeD, May 16 2010
  

       [+] simply for the possible juxtaposition with the "Chess-Playing Turk"
FlyingToaster, May 16 2010
  

       he could probably double his earnings by making jockstraps.
po, May 16 2010
  

       This is creepy.
sninctown, May 16 2010
  

       Wow. An expository masterpiece. Tiny buns [+] [+] 4u.  Bravo.  Bravo!   

       Sp: 2-dimensioned.
Mustardface, May 16 2010
  

       This is even odder than I have come to expect from the bakery. I'll pretend I never read it.   

       Move on, nothing to see here...
wagster, May 16 2010
  

       Is this autobiographical by any chance?
Mustardface, May 16 2010
  

       Depends, [Mustard]. Is vain-glory considered fact or fiction?   

       And thanks for the spelling correction. That is two misspelled words in one post... I'm going to have to give my spell-checker a good talking to.
MikeD, May 16 2010
  

       // I'm looking at you. //   

       And we're looking away, downwards and to the right, in a sort of shamefaced-not blinging-you-in the-eye -with the-temple-mounted-laser way ....
8th of 7, May 17 2010
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle