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Toilet Tape™
Just like police line tape but for the toilet bowl. | |
I am often criticized by women for leaving the toilet seat up. I can understand that if you always use the toilet with the seat in the down position, it's easy to make the mistake of accidentally sitting on an unseated bowl.
So I propose a decal based warning system where red and yellow striped tape
is applied to the rim of the bowl and the surface under the seat. That way if the man leaves it up, the woman has an immediate indication that it is still up.
[link]
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Will this product cut through the fog of selective perception? |
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Yes, it will say, "DO NOT SIT OR STAND HERE". |
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We call for fecal decal recall. |
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I never understood the whole leave the seat down thing. Both parties are responsible for remembering what they learned when they were two years old. When I've heard this in the past I resort to peeing in the sink. Concession usually follows. |
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// I resort to peeing in the sink// |
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(For the purposes of this rant, "us" refers to menfolk, and
"them" refers to womenfolk.) |
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I think if your other half actually fell in once or twice, I think
she'd learn to check before sitting. If she has never actually
fallen in, which is the usual complaint, then tell her to quit
bitching about shit that doesn't apply to her. Is she really so lazy
she can't be bothered to lower her own toilet seat, it has to be
done for her? |
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Alternatively, tell her that if she expects you to leave the seat
down after use, then she should leave it up for you. It's a 2 way
street. We don't have markers to indicate when it's down, to
keep us from pissing all over the seat (which they expect us to
clean up, by the way), why should they get it so easy? |
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I imagined this to be a roll of tape, much like that used at
crime scenes, but instead of "Police" or "Crime Scene" it would
say "I'd give it 10 minutes".
To be put across the doorway should the need arise! |
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Get a cat and then you *have* to keep both lids/seats
down. (Cats drink even if you don't think they do, we
have secret spies who have told us so.) |
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It's always best to switch over these hotly contested
household battles, to a third, relatively indifferent
party, or pussy, so to speak. |
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that phrase got me. To annotate, I mean. |
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Yep; I like this idea. An alarm and a flashing light would help! |
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sp: never kiss a pussy just after it's come out of the toilet |
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I don't think it's so much that the seat is up as it offends women to see that the little well that so many of them try to keep sparkling clean is left open to the world in all of its smelly, skidmarked glory. Maybe I'm just wrong? |
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Women are annoyed not by the chance they might fall in, but by the inherent "maleness" of a lifted toilet seat. It's a bit like her leaving a pink teddy bear on the bed. Placing hazard tape on your toilet rim is such an inherently male thing to do that it will infuriate her much more. |
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What's wrong with pink teddy bears? Does that sort of thing bother you? |
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A little. "Love is..." fridge magnets have the same effect. |
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Go passive aggressive. Put the seat down but make
sure the lid goes down as well. |
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Alternatively the seat could have a painted or printed striped warning decal note on the top visible only when it is in the down position, saying 'Caution if this seat is left in the down position it may possibly be concealing some urine contamination on the rim underneath'. |
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Then if enough of these seats were installed in enough places it could soon become socially unacceptable for anyone including males to leave seats in anything but the up position. |
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