Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Trumpolining

Pun stolen outright from [theircompetitor].
  (+3)
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Trampoline where stretchy surface incorporates a variety of sizes and forms of self inflating whoopee cushions, at irregular but specific co-ordinates. Adds an extra dimension to the artistic impression aspect of competitive trampolining, as well as tricking lavatorially minded fat kids into exercising.

Thhrrrp parp thhrrrp honk parp parp bofffff.

calum, Jan 07 2004

Self Inflating Whoopee Cushion http://www.sillyjok...hoopee-cushion.html
"always ready to make it's classic botty burp noise" (rogue apostrophe retained for sake of transcriptional accuracy) [calum, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Competitive Trampolining http://welcome.to/trampolining
Note peculiarly jazzed up spelling of otherwise mundanely monikered top ranked male. Curious. [calum, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       // tricking .. fat kids into exercising //   

       I can't believe you said that.   

       Wouldn't the deflation of the whoopee cushion dampen the springiness of the response, ruining the trampolining experience? You could attach devices for measuring tension to the underside of the trampoline, hook them up to a midi input and use them to generate any sounds you wanted (trumps for your own amusement, conventional instrument sounds for the musically minded, dog barks for me).
dobtabulous, Jan 07 2004
  

       ... And for my next trick - I will kick a puppy ...
Letsbuildafort, Jan 07 2004
  

       what may be really interesting is a variable surface trampoline so that bounce speed and direction would vary -- not sure if someone had posted that here
theircompetitor, Jan 07 2004
  

       Yeah, I was concerned about the negative effect the cushions would have on the sproinginess of the trampoline but then I realised that (a) they don't have to be large - indeed, the smaller the cushion the greater the need for practice to land accurately and (b) whoopee cushions are (generally) made from a rubbery substance which is less sproingy than trampolene (the material from which all trampolines are made) but still significantly sproingier than, say, enamel cookware. Overall, sproing depletion can be minimised.   

       Further, the strain gauges and midi gubbins result in the introduction of a layer of abstraction between the action and the noise. "I jumped and it farted" becomes "I jumped and the strain gauge measured the intensity and location of my landing and then a speaker made a fart noise." The immediacy of the cushion is what makes chubbers chuckle.   

       Re fat kids: they need to exercise, non? If offended, mentally remove the word "fat" from idea body and review merit of idea.
calum, Jan 07 2004
  

       Good one, [calum]. +. And my croissant is specifically for "tricking lavatorially minded fat kids into exercising." You are bang on, they need exercise, not empathy.
lintkeeper2, Jan 08 2004
  

       you know how you can "bounce" people on tramps? by having two people jump at the same time? well what if you put suspended woopie cushions in the air and you could have people hit them with their heads? of course to uphold the whimsicality of this idea they would be suspended by miniature helicopters and would move (within a set parameter so they dont run into each other) to the closest "target of oppurtunity".
Space-Pope, Jan 08 2004
  

       Poot Pad. Gas Mat. Whoopoline. (I like it. My mother would hate it.)
k_sra, Jan 08 2004
  

       Boff Bounce. The Guff O Matic Sproingatron.
calum, Jan 09 2004
  

       Somehow I thought this had to do with Donald Trump.
croissantz, Dec 18 2004
  
      
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