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Ultimate condom

Bedroom fun just got funner
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Introducing the ultimate condom.On the end, there is a small one time use vibrator that starts up when it senses body heat. In addition to that, there is a uniformly didtributed pattern of raised dots all over the shaft that make her feel even more pleasurable. These raised dots, an improvement on ribbed condoms, are specially located on the area of the penis that will touch the G-spot when he sticks it in her. There is a "THIS SIDE UP" label on the condom so that he can put it on the right way. Also, there is a smiley face on the side of the head of the penis to make things even more funny. This smile idea is because I thought it would make my penis less scary in case she's afraid of penisses. When youre done, the condom comes with a small ziplock bag inside the wrapper to dispose of it.
non-eatable, Aug 13 2002

Baked in film http://us.imdb.com/Plot?0116791
If you take 'ultimate' to mean 'last', that is. [calum, Aug 13 2002]

[link]






       Pretty much baked - but I'll leave the searching for a link to you, because I'm at work and I don't want funny looks from the IT guys.
namaste, Aug 13 2002
  

       Already got those just from having this up on my screen. Drat.
DrCurry, Aug 13 2002
  

       Weeee don't neeed no steeenkeeng condoms!
thumbwax, Aug 13 2002
  

       // This smile idea is because I thought it would make my penis less scary. //   

       I just realized where your name came from...
polartomato, Aug 13 2002
  

       Youre funny polar tomato. The user name is one of the names i was thinking about calling my punk band. My penis is not really scary at all but i have met girls who are afraid of penisses that are un-cut. Thumbwax, the condom is the only way to prevent STDs that the partner might have. When you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone else they have slept with in the past.
non-eatable, Aug 13 2002
  

       What do these girls do... shriek in fear? Run screaming? "The Night of the Living Penis"...
waugsqueke, Aug 14 2002
  

       Again, note the author's name...
polartomato, Aug 14 2002
  

       //When you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone else they have slept with in the past.//
When I sleep with someone, I am also making them forget everyone else they have slept with in the past.
thumbwax, Aug 14 2002
  

       (considers inserting highly tasteless Rohypnol-themed joke here, but has a flash of conscience and decides not to. Slinks away)
namaste, Aug 14 2002
  

       /make my penis less scary in case she's afraid of penises/   

       (chokes on food) WHAT??? If she's scared of penises, why are you having sex? (I laughed for 5 minutes straight after reading that.)
Shadow Phoenix, Sep 26 2007
  

       //i have met girls who are afraid of penisses that are un-cut.//   

       Did they work behind the deli-meat counter at the supermarket?
skinflaps, Sep 27 2007
  

       Denuded willies look stranger to me. So lonely. And oddly shiny on the end.
squeak, Sep 27 2007
  

       /And oddly shiny on the end/   

       The bronzing is an extra cost service that high end mohels offer.
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 27 2007
  
      
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