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United Airline's Goose-along, Goose-be-gone

fly the friendly skies, and help both United, and Canadian Geese
  (+11, -2)(+11, -2)
(+11, -2)
  [vote for,
against]

With United Airlines recent financial issues, and yesterdays near accident caused by Canandian Geese, I suggest United Airlines take on a new campaigne.

Goose-along, Goose-be-gone

Each passenger is presented two Canadian Geese, when they purchase a ticket to fly anywhere in Canada.

On arrival in say, hmm Vancouver, the passengers disembark with their new pals, and voila. A two birds with one stone sort of solution is found.

United gets passengers and money, and the United States gets rid of the problem of too many geese near the airports.

I think.

blissmiss, Jan 16 2009

Training geese to fly with planes http://www.flightgl...ures/geeselarge.jpg
There's your problem [bigsleep, Jan 16 2009]

Fly United http://www.dking-ga...AD_70FlyUnited.html
Classic Poster (slightly risque') [csea, Jan 16 2009]

[link]






       Does George W. still have time to declare war on geese?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 16 2009
  

       Not sure, but he's up to his eyeballs in goose shit, I know that!
blissmiss, Jan 16 2009
  

       Were these geese really near the airport, or just near the Hudson River? Anyway, I'm officially starting the Save The Geese campaign. I love Canada Geese and I don't want to see the whole NY population slaughtered. +
phundug, Jan 16 2009
  

       I don't understand phundug, love the geese and glad the people on the plane had such a wonderful escape.
po, Jan 16 2009
  

       [+] any promotion that includes complimentary geese.
FlyingToaster, Jan 16 2009
  

       link [rcarty] ? of course we care.
po, Jan 16 2009
  

       The Canadian goose neighbor of mine (lives here in my pond)(erm.. his pond) is a loud mouthed-bossy bird brain. If he were aboard any comcial flight, he would be making those flight attendants 'Really move their Tail' for him. And if anyone-old, young, male, or otherwise, even looks ( takes a gander at) at Mr. McQuacks sweetheart...well, so far I've escaped serious injury. And I'm not even emotionally invilved with his SO.   

       heh, fun idea... [+] LOL
Sir_Misspeller, Jan 16 2009
  

       Note that the emergency landing in the Hudson River was a US Airways flight, not a United Airlines flight.
jutta, Jan 16 2009
  

       I wonder if any terrorist organisation has considered rearing new-hatched geese in such a way that all their food and warmth comes from a large circular fan which makes a loud whining noise?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 16 2009
  

       Saves them from having to make that long migration, too.
phoenix, Jan 16 2009
  

       \\ terrorist organisation has considered \\   

       If not already ... They may now. Perish the thought!!! A Gosling's mama, the air bus.
Sir_Misspeller, Jan 16 2009
  

       //If he were aboard any comcial flight// Sp. "comical".
Spacecoyote, Jan 16 2009
  

       I'm not sure that crash landing an airliner full of passengers in the middle of a river is the type of thing most people would classify as a near accident.
jhomrighaus, Jan 16 2009
  

       in the freezing cold and lots of river traffic.
po, Jan 17 2009
  

       what if you have sworn to never again engage in the transportation of poultry for any purpose?
WcW, Jan 17 2009
  

       My experiments with adaptive magnetic feild implants allows me to direct the movements of entire flocks by influencing only the Alpha goose in each V.   

       My minions of minimum destruction will soon be unleashing their payloads upon Humvee drivers across North America.   

       I appologise for any inconvieniences this may cause as the last of the bugs are worked out.   

       Not that I want to diminish the occasion, but surely, since aero engines are currently tested with 'chicken launchers' for safety before they go ner a plane, should the testing be upgraded for 'the larger bird'?   

       We have Canada Geese over her in the UK. They're common as muck in England, but when my Grandad was up in Scotland watching an osprey, the keeper at the park was quite impressed that they had 'a pair' of canada geese.   

       Nice one to the pilot, but hopefully the other geese will learn from their brethren's mistakes.
Skrewloose, Jan 17 2009
  

       Professor Feinstein was summarily deported back to the US for forgetting to bring his geese to the convention.
UnaBubba, Jan 17 2009
  

       It would be far more sensible to have separate planes for the geese. Geese on average are smaller than humans, so seats could be smaller and you'd get a lot more on a flight. Catering would also be simpler.
bigsleep, Jan 17 2009
  

       Given their ability to fly really high, you wouldn't have to bother too much with pressurisation and heating, either. I know the Canada Goose doesn't fly as high as the Asian Bar-Headed Goose, but they still fly pretty high when they want.
UnaBubba, Jan 18 2009
  

       /I know the Canada Goose doesn't fly as high as the Asian Bar-Headed Goose/   

       Who doesn't?
Texticle, Jan 18 2009
  

      

//Note that the emergency landing in the Hudson River was a US Airways flight, not a United Airlines flight.//
  

       A United 767 had a double bird strike in 2007. One engine kept running, fortunately. And two years before, the same flight ran into a flock of birds and had to return. United flight 843 from Chicago to Sao Paulo--you might want to avoid it.
ldischler, Jan 18 2009
  

       The Asian Bar-headed Goose regularly flies over the Himalayas, on migratory flights. They've been observed at altitudes in excess of 31,000 feet. Up there the atmosphere is about 25% of STP and temperatures reach as low as -60 °C ( -76°F). Tough geese.
UnaBubba, Jan 18 2009
  

       No no no if you do this, there will be more geese at airports, not less. They will evolve to lose their ability to fly, grow dependent upon the airlines, demand cheap tickets and mileage compensation for all of those years that they flew themselves back and forth to South America, make a terrible mess of drug trafficking control, as well as reduce a classic Monty Python sketch on the origin of northern coconuts to the size of a swallow's onboard carryon.   

       \\ Tough geese \\   

       Well, they are Canadian, after all. Sounds like an average day in Kapuskasing.
RayfordSteele, Jan 19 2009
  

       jutta, noted. But United is tanking, and the extra revenue from "Goose Saving Organizations" just might be their ticket, hahaha, out.   

       I figured each extra unexpected flight north would help.   

       (And yes I call it a "near accident", when it didn't end up in a full fuel flight flattening forty square miles of New York. It's all in your perspective, I reckon ;-) )
blissmiss, Jan 20 2009
  

       //a full fuel flight flattening forty square miles of New York//   

       Did I miss something?
Spacecoyote, Jan 20 2009
  

       As blissmiss points out, that's what this one *didn't* do (that is, crash into an office building, similar to what happened during the 9/11 attacks.)
jutta, Jan 20 2009
  

       a miracle on one of your great streets...
po, Jan 20 2009
  

       That would be cubic miles, then?
Spacecoyote, Jan 20 2009
  

       Ask the good folk of Lockerbie.
UnaBubba, Jan 21 2009
  
      
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