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Universal Barrett M821A Remote

Sniper Rifle Remote Control
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The first component of this is the Virtual Remote Unit, or VRU (not to be confused with a Voice Response Unit). The VRU is connected in-line via cable between your cable box and TV. It has a small screen and a stylus. With the VRU, you create a virtual remote control; First by selecting background and color scheme, then by selecting button shapes, sizes, labeling, et cetera, and placing them on the virtual remote. You can make it identical to a remote you are familiar with, or put buttons on an image of your ex. The possibilities are unlimited. Virtual remote configurations may be saved and selected for use at any time.

The next component is a sniper rifle, the real remote in this configuration. Though lighter in weight, it has the look and feel of the real McCoy.

The rifle is programmed via IR using your existing remote, the virtual remote, your good aim, and the trigger. When you take the safety off, the rifle signals the VRU to display the virtual remote on-screen. The buttons on the virtual remote display are all slightly different in appearance, due to color, shape and labels, or gradient tints and textures that were added by the VRU on buttons which normally appear identical to make them differentiable to light gun technology (as used in arcade games).

Point your original remote at the rifle and push a button, then aim the rifle at the corresponding button on the on-screen virtual remote and squeeze the trigger. It associates the IR signal with the virtual remote button image seen on the screen by its light gun receiver. Once programmed, it transmits the IR signal corresponding to the virtual button you shoot at.

To change the channel: Survey your surroundings carefully, then find a comfortable, relaxed position. Prop your remote up on the bipod and release the safety. See it out there? Yeah, there it is. Mwuahahahaha. Slowly lay your head down to the side, close one eye, and peer through the scope. Steady now, take your time. Breathe. Notice how perfectly the '+' lines up between the cross hairs. Place your finger on the trigger and relax. Clear your mind of all but the symmetry of your view and begin applying pressure. Slow, steady, pressure. Slow, steady, pressure. Slow, ste- *BANG*

The rifle discharges with a loud noise. You feel the recoil as it kicks your shoulder (presumably due to the built-in solenoid) and an ejected casing tumbles to the floor - t-ting-ting.

The previous channel is no more. One shot - one channel.

Of course, normally you will have to shoot multiple buttons to accomplish your objective, so get out there and start practicing! For experts, the VRU can display a small remote, make it move around, and disappear/reappear elsewhere on an adjustable timer.

Demand for these is growing. Act now and you will receive a complimentary AK47 that operates the channel button only, without aiming, for the habitual channel surfer in your family to lay down grazing fire.

Shz, Mar 18 2005

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       Thrilling the first 20 times, after that becomes tedious.
Soterios, Mar 18 2005
  
      
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