h a l f b a k e r y
Go ahead. Stick a fork in it.
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Often the question is asked...do you know what you are eating in your nuggets/burgers etc...
Be able to answer once and for all
This could work either of two ways, either a small portable device for individual use (if possible), or a much larger device to be used by regulatory agencies.
Insert a
sample of the hamburger patty, get a printout...25% beef, 35 % horsemeat, 25% sawdust and rice husks
Potted Meat Food Product
http://www.thatguy....uck/chuck03-01.html
"partially defatted cooked pork fatty tissue" [angel, Jul 16 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
It's not just meat that's scary
http://www.1800popp...12&tab=1&prodlist=1
Have a look at 'SPICY TORTILLA JUMPIN' JACKS® BREADED PEPPERJACK CHEESE' [angel, Jul 16 2002, last modified Nov 16 2005]
DNA Scanner
http://www.halfbake...he_20whole_20family
use one of these [FarmerJohn, Jul 20 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Annotation:
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"Chicken" Nuggets
More likely that the composition will be:
14% Avian Protein
38% Farinaceous Carbohydrate
48% Saturated Lipids |
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Bleurgh. UB, it's too early for that sort of talk. |
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I eat in fast food restaraunts only when I have absolutely no other choice, and on the whole I prefer not to know what I'm eating. But if ohters want this facility, fine. The device for regulatory authorities has mnore merit and for that reason I shall award a croissant (Ingredients: Wheat flour, water, yeast, butter, salt, rainsing ageents, emulsifiers, ..... the list goes on and on) |
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Farinaceous Carbohydrate = flour, no? |
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Mommy, what does Mechanically separated mean? |
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It's called 'mechanically recovered' over here, which sounds even more suspect. |
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Mechanically seperated = lips and assholes |
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"Mechanically recovered" is a more scary sounding term, but "value added meat" (or emulsification) is far more unpleasant in reality. Basically meat (usually that whose appearance makes it impossible to sell to even the most hardened faggot, haggis or McDonalds eater) is dissolved by some process I couldn't explain into a sort of slurry and piped into processed meat products as a cheap filling product. I think your detector might just get mired in this grey slop, unable to work out what was once what. |
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//some process I couldn't explain//
Simplifying somewhat, it's blasted off the carcass by a high-pressure water jet, and mixed with sodium polyphosphate. This makes it absorb some of the water so that a) it can be 'worked' more easily, and 2) the ultimate consumer (which may be you but will not be me) pays for the water as though it is meat. |
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Take core sample, analyze DNA composition of various particles within the meat... determine the percentage of various species of animal contained in the meat... the report for the average hot dog extends a couple of feet... |
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The fun way to do this would be (1) extract DNA (2) inject DNA into ova (3) implant fertilised ova into animal wombs (4) see what bizarre beasts are born. |
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Failing that, might I recommend vegetarianism (of course, all potatoes are mechanically separated). |
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this idea and its annotations affirm my resolve to eat nothing with a face, unless I've seen it killed and prepared in front of me. [Hypocritical: I and my family eat foie gras on Christmas morning, well, our neighbour imports Burgundy and keeps getting given kilo after kilo of the stuff.] |
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"..eat nothing with a face.." Sappho, do you ever feel the eyes of those potatoes are following you around the room? |
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I eat everything with my face. Well, part of it. |
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Personal Best ..9 little plusses |
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Just to prove you wrong, I'll make it 10. (The cup is half full today) |
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I'll see your 10, and raise you 1 - croissant and ale |
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I recently ate something called "fish" curry, it was only later it dawned on me, what is fish? Is that anything flapping about in the ocean and streams. If it was snapper, why couldn't they say? This would require device to also have access to a database of fishes |
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"Honey, is this meat or is this cake?" |
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If you want _real_ food, raise, feed, slaughter, cook, and eat it yourself. |
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