h a l f b a k e r y
You gonna finish that?
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It's margarine, but it comes in a jar with a specially shaped, self-sealing, latex lid.
You push your knife/spoon/finger into the yielding surface of the lid, causing it to part gently, allowing you to scoop out some of the vaginarine inside, which you can then proceed to spread on your toast/crumpet/self
as appropriate.
Withdrawal of your knife/spoon/finger from the Vaginarine pot causes it to self seal, keeping the contents fresh for another day.
Fixed This Problem
Masturbation_20Nightmare
Now you would just die with the butter container in your hand - not nearly as bad. [sleeka, Sep 13 2005]
[link]
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I blame the food:genital category for this one. |
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It's not the category, blame [wagster] - he made me do it, by alluding to my unclean and ageing psyche. I think the special lids described could be used in many different storage scenarios. |
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Bet it still takes ages to get the hairs off your teeth after a sarny, though. |
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[zen_tom] you can borrow my excuse, if you like? |
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"A big boy did it and ran away" |
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Vagarine, Vagamite, and Labia-Lids are all other possible names under which we may try marketing the product. |
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Thinking about it, the idea is more to do with the packaging, than the actual food itself, is there a category Packaging:Genital? |
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Hmmm. I wonder if I allude to [zen_tom]'s god-like genius, would he post a solution to the world energy problem? |
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Hey! [z_t]! You're like Einstein reborn with the vision of Asimov! |
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I agree with the first post. Fishbone from me. |
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//You push your knife/spoon/finger into the yielding surface of the lid,// this somehow made me press my knees together. |
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the design of this (if it were not pretty magical) would pretty much wipe all the fat from your knife or finger as you withdrew from the pot (also the silly smile from your face I would have thought) but I give you a butterless bun as compensation. |
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[Germ] //I agree with the first post. Fishbone from me.// Funny, I bunned it. Remove the sex sillyness and it's a fairly good idea. All food really needs is an oxygen barrier, not a rigid lid. Removing the step of removing a lid sounds good to me. I'm seeing this being opened like a change purse, squeezing from both sides to open. |
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//the step of removing a lid sounds good to me// and this sounds like something that would make [zeno] press his knees together. |
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[Susan] I am compelled to report that I am rather enjoying the idea of people around the world are reading this and wincing slightly whilst pressing their knees together. -
I'm not sure how I'm going to explain all this to my therapist.
And what I do want to know is how [po] knew I had a silly smile on my face.
But yes, it is actually a (half) serious idea for an alternative to the screw-top lid. Judge it as you will...Oh, you already have.
In answer to [po]'s point about wiping one's spoon/knife/finger clean is of course a new utensil designed specifically for use with the labial-lid.
Short of that, I would recommend working on some wrist motion that allowed for proper extraction of the contents. |
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"Darling, I'm having a trouble with the new vaginarine jar, I was just wondering if you could show me how..." |
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we women do not worry about pressing our knees together but rather at the order that we should relax and flop! you have no idea at the distress those words provoke... |
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zen, yes a wrist action might just do it! |
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[zen_tom] Would it have a farting-noise chip, too? I mean when the extraction utensil is withdrawn? |
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it's a shame this has been fishyed because the concept is quite, what's the word I want? virginal? |
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Interesting. You may get a great deal more sales than you expected if you shape the container...umm...properly. Could solve the problem listed above <see link>. |
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[zen_tom], I took the trouble to read your profile before annotating and voting. You not seem trollish and I have joined your scheme. |
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I think this is a very bad idea, like the vaginal jam. But unlike the jam this has no funny undertone for me. - |
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Why do you consider it a bad idea? |
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I knew a woman once who was writing a novel about a
trailer park and the main character's name was "Vadge",
pronounced like "Madge" or "badge". |
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[worldgineer], Jars have lids. Why would I want to go through the undubitally messy act of getting the product out through this thing? And even if I thought there was some merit to this idea, I do not like the mentioning of the vagina. If it is funny or constructive I can live with it but otherwise I say we leave the genitals be. |
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i want to make all sorts of love to this idea. |
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Well please control yourself. |
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but i've already turned the stove on... |
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I'm sorry [zeno] and this most certainly is in no way meant as a trolling action - it's simply an alternative take on the boring old jam-jar lid that we're so used to. I could have described it in way that didn't involve genitalia, but must confess to reverting to base humour, which I accept is not to everyone's tastes. |
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There could be some serious uses for this, perhaps as a storage medium in underwater environments, or where airborne contaminants might be a problem. |
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The same amount would end up on the knife everytime. Turning knives into tablespoons, I say. |
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Scraping the bottom would be difficult. Make the V screw off. |
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I'm aged beyond bringing a steady hand to this. I don't fancy starved and exhausted. |
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