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Most vandalism is too trivial for the police to be bothered with. They have important things to do, like doughnut demolition.
BubbaCo Security (BS) is now offering international master franchise rights to interested parties, to deal with these malcontents and miscreants.
For a small fee per household,
you can sign up online and we'll watch over your home and possessions.
When we see an act of vandalism committed, our trained operators will use public surveillance sytems to track the perpetrators and enact a plan of vandalistic retribution upon them.
The graffitist whose home is deluged to a depth of two feet with wet paint may well think twice before committing another act of vandalism. Key an expensive car and we'll come to your house/squat/room and trash everything you own, leaving you a ton of liquid excrement as a memento.
[link]
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burden of proof. innocent until proven guilty under the law. |
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This would've been nice when the rear windshield of my car was
smashed in a few months ago. And WcW, burden of proof
doesn't matter. The police won't go after them. My ex-wife
mailed a key to my house to a friend from her place in Florida.
Her friend entered my home and cleaned me out. She even left a
signed note. I knew the make, model, and color of her vehicle. I
knew her address. The police refused to get invloved, even
though possession of a key does not give one legal rights to
enter a home, and my ex was removed from the lease when she
left so she had no claim to the place. |
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yes. you should go to her house and take all her stuff. i give you the authority. |
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// until proven guilty under the law.// |
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No need for burden of proof. We'll establish the proof, keep a record of our investigation and retaliate in kind. If the police won't bother with one act of vandalism then we see little reason they'll get involved in solving another. |
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You don't get any satisfaction, apart from being able to view our secret video evidence on our secure website. We destroy that video as soon as you've watched it. |
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For repeat offenders we abduct and drug them before we tattoo "FUCK THE POLICE" in large, friendly letters, across their foreheads. |
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BTW, if you happen to be the little shits who splashed paint over my black car last night, this one is for you. Thankfully it was water soluble and the thunderstorm at 1am washed it all away. |
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"we to vigilante justice the ethical way"
"two wrongs, made right"
"an eye for an eye, surgical strikes" |
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Yep. There seems to be a growing culture of permissiveness toward property crime. There also seems to be little sympathy for the victims, whose property is the product of great effort and forethought. |
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Time the grasshoppers paid for sponging off the ants. |
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how exactly is the "grasshopper" profiting from vandalizing the "ants" property? |
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That's what I'd like to know. Nearest I can tell is that my income taxes, which support roughly 15 grasshoppers each year, are being wasted on them. |
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Maybe a little 'like-for-like' will alter their perceptions of their apparently vaunted place in our societies? |
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.... poor poor repressed minority, someday the middle class will break their bonds and rise up against their masters, the poor. |
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as for your status as a victim, the "they put paint on my car, but it washed off" really isn't something the police are going to put a lot of time into is it. Why shoot your own argument in the foot that way? Poor show. |
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Poor show? Which particular brand of cretin are you, exactly? It's still going to be about a grand to get rid of it all, off the paintwork, I'm guessing. |
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Mate, when you steal a 4 litre (1 gallon) can of white housepaint from a building site next door, then pour it all over a black car, you aren't fucking about with niceties. I was lucky it was water-based paint. |
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I spent an hour with the hose, washing the bulk of it off. The thunderstorm did good work, but the paint has run in through the shutlines on the vehicle and is all over the door jambs and under the bonnet and down through the engine bay and in all of the nooks and crannies around the front bumper, wheel arches and grille. |
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In spite of all of your empty platitudes and supposed tolerance, you'd be pretty fucking annoyed if it was your $70,000 car, I'm willing to bet. It's bloody hard to be objective and philosophical about it, in the light of day. This is the second attack on the car in the last month. The first one was merely rotten milk. |
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WcW, I've had my car broken into twice (didn't have anything to
steal, though... dipshits...), I've had my tires slashed, and, as
previously stated, my rear windshield smashed. The police still
didn't do anything. They even refused to come out and catalogue
the damage in case they *do* catch the fucker who did it. That's
permanent damage that costs a lot of money to repair, besides
making me late for work and costing me lost wages. AND THE
POLICE DO NOTHING TO STOP IT! The law has completely failed
to protect my property. So what, exactly, was your point again?
This is an awesome idea. |
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//when you steal a 4 litre (1 gallon) can of white housepaint from a building site next door//
There's a civil action there, somewhere.
BTW, I'd have a word about those short gallons. |
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It's sorta halfway between a US gallon (3.78 litres) and a gallon (4.54 litres). Paint here comes in 1/2, 1, 2, 4, 6, 10, 15 & 20 litre cans. |
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Get 'em on weights-and-measures legislation.
They won't see that one coming. |
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Who? The paint manufacturers? We converted to metric in 1974, [AWOL]. One of our clients is having a fair bit of success, bringing maximum can sizes down to 15 litres, because of weight considerations and OH&S management. They use about 18 million litres of paint per year, so they have a bit more clout than me. |
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I've left the car down at the detailer this morning. They think they can get 99% of it off with a water blaster and a bit of cut & polish. $400 quoted, for the cleanup. |
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So, a grand is 400 dollars and gallons are 4 litres?
Man, you've got some serious metrology issues down there. |
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I feel a responsibility to convert everything to Imperial/US measure for you Northern Hemisphere dinosaurs, just in case you haven't learned to count in base 10, yet. |
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Don't feel any kind of responsibility to convert - I'm quite happy with 1/8th inch = 3mm, or 8' = 2440mm (ish). Hell, I can even do hex, but 400 == 1K threw me. |
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Committing a second retaliatory act of vandalism, this time extensively pre-meditated would likely result in an aggravated sentence if brought to trial. The construction of a criminal organization for the purpose of committing illegal acts of retaliation in blatant conflict with the rule of law isn't a viable business plan, its childish. |
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If I ran over and keyed the vehicle of the churls who damage the paint on my car, simply because its a mid eighties BMW I would end up a churl myself. If I hired another churl to do it for me, I'd simply be supporting churlishness. If you want a security system for your house/car go for it. But don't pretend like using that system to engage in eye-eye vengeance is ethical. The law is there to protect all parties all the time. |
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Sorry, I'll add a disclaimer next time I make a guess at something. |
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//AND THE POLICE DO NOTHING TO STOP IT!//
What would you propose they do? Maybe their Crystal Ball was
playing up that day!
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//$1000 was a guess, you twat.//
If that's how you speak to people, I can't imagine anyone
wanting to pour paint on your car! |
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I think I would be tempted to set up a scenario too juicy for vandals to pass up and be hiding in the unlatched trunk with a baseball bat waiting...and maybe a bull whip...ooh, and a paintball gun with some of those mace paintballs for the one's still able to run. |
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and Then I would call the police. |
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We can recommend Tabasco sauce, administered anally using a 10 ml hypodermic (sans needle, of course) as a highly effective deterrent to further antisocial behavior. It's cheap, it doesn't leave a mark, and when the others hear the screams it has a real there-but-for- the-grace-of-God-go-I impact. |
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Repeat offending is low. It may be necessary to shout (the screaming can be very loud) but indication that next time the chosen orifice will be the urethra is usually adequate. |
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//a criminal organization for the purpose of committing illegal acts of retaliation in blatant conflict with the rule of law // |
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Actually, I'm with Ubie. My gut reaction - pretty much
regardless of the cost of the damage, which isn't the point
-
would be to nail the fucker's head to something if only I
had
the (a) ability and (b) courage to do so. |
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It is not alright to fuck with other people's stuff. It is not
merely
churlish to do so. It is not churlish to want to nail the
offender's head to something. |
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//If that's how you speak to people//
No worries - it's a term of endearment in the Antipodes. |
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He's right. It's a bit like saying, "How are ya, ya old bastard?"... which translates roughly as: |
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"I hope you've been well, it's certainly jolly good to see you after all this time, what?" |
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Yes, [MB]. Three year's ago I had a difference of opinion with a neighbour, who accused me of releasing his American Pit Bull to run away during a storm. Despite the fact I had nothing to do with his psychopathic mutt's disappearance, he took out his frustration upon me by placing a 4 inch nail against the tread of a tyre on my car, 3 times in four weeks. |
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It wasn't an accident, because 4 inch nails are very rarely used any longer, in this country; they were all exactly the same type of nail; it always happened on a Monday morning. Each time he did it I had to replace a tyre, at a cost of $250.00. |
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I entertained the idea of nailing his head to his lounge room floor with a Paslode gas-powered nailgun, but I couldn't figure out a scenario whereby I could put a dozen 3 inch nails through his scalp and into a hardwood floor, yet still make it look like an accident. |
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In the end I had to settle for informing an anonymous crime tip line about the marijuana plants growing in one of his bedrooms. |
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UB, aren't pit bulls banned in Australia? |
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They can't be, otherwise Kylie Minogue would never be able to go home. |
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She probably keeps a home in the United States, like the rest of
the cool people in the world. |
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Technically a kennel, shirley ? |
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Yes, they are banned but this guy was some sort of Canadian misanthrope. I think he had a Pit Bull because it matched his impression of himself as a skinhead. Most of the time it lived in a pan in his backyard... a palisaded keep about 10m x 6m, with a pair of crossed mediaeval battleaxes on the gate. |
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We're not talking about someone with a direct genetic link to Albert Einstein, or so it seemed to me. This guy lived on the other side of our place, as opposed to the character with the front yard full of gnomes. |
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I sometimes wonder if there are any "normal" people on this planet. |
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Of course there are. We're over here. |
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Crossed battle axes? Seems a little paranoid. I just mount
motion-activated spotlights on all sides of my house to outshine
the bloody UFOs. Lousy neighbors, them UFOs... |
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Didn't they return your lawnmower, then? |
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You can tell [21Q]'s backyard from space. It has 21 circles and a large Q shaved into the lawn, so the UFO pilots can find it. |
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bet he regrets letting you borrow his lawnmower, eh.. |
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//with a pair of crossed mediaeval battleaxes on the gate.// |
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Are they in a glass case marked "Smash here in case of dire need to commit an axe murder" ? What a bizarre home security policy. |
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Probably had a "smash here in case of pitbull escape" sign up somewhere. |
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One step away from the mafia this is. |
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One step? Bloody short step, [RF]. |
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Well, it's hard to walk in concrete overshoes .... |
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Or with 4in batten screws through your knees. |
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