h a l f b a k e r yEureka! Keeping naked people off the streets since 1999.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, best, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
"I was in a bar opposite the guy's place, on the kind of stake-out that people just don't do any more - the kind that leave you with a head that feels like an old football and wanting to sleep for a week. Just my luck, it was the kind of lousy bar you always get in this job - cheap booze and cheap dames.
The Carle guy was in his apartment and now I was just waiting - waiting and getting drunk. I never forgave him for the biography he wrote on me - he had more material than a guy would need in a lifetime of writing and he spent the whole book on my eating disorders..."
[link]
|
| |
....and then I turned into a McDolnalds and had everything on the menu twice. |
|
| |
Do you get a stuffed toy with this book as well? |
|
| |
"Two weeks in and I was starting to pupate.
Luckily Nick the Greek had a sideline going in silk -
he'd reel it off me and pick up my bar tab." |
|
| |
"Bartender brings over a bowl of peanuts. I nearly spill them as the door crashes open and in walks the most bad-tempered ladybird I have ever seen. Starts picking on a group of aphids playing cards in a booth but moves on, he's looking for the big fight tonight." |
|
| |
(Very odd coincidence - this idea came to me late last night and I posted it this morning. Then I saw Google had a Eric Carle-themed home page today. I think it's the 40th anniversary of the publication of VHC). |
|
| |
Crack Moth - a (sort of) antithesis of the very hungry caterpillar - the thought just came to me but it is just nasty. |
|
| |
One million points to hippo! |
|
| |
I thought it was 'crack spider'. |
|
| |
"In the morning I ate a green leaf, and felt much better." |
|
| |
Mid afternoon I was joined by what was left of a first edition. She was in a terrible state, barely just a binding cord and some page corners round her feet. She hadn't come for revenge, just to get drunk, another wreck frequenting "the badly typecast and ugly duckling". "What happened to your pages, did they make it ?". The whisky rings on the bar talked before she did. "I'm a frayed knot". |
|
| |
Dear god, I haven't been here in years, and what
do I come back to see? |
|
| |
I could barely stand on my own 30 legs. |
|
| |
Haven't seen you here in quite a while, DF. Welcome back! |
|
| |
Yeah, methinks that I should come back here more
often! |
|
| |
Sounds like it's not just the book that's gonna be full of holes before this tale is done. |
|
| |
You and me both, oh Arid Vulpus compadre. |
|
| |
And a cup cake, two ice cream sundaes, a hot dog, a salami.... |
|
| |
"I was trying to workup the courage to go over. But I just couldn't. I needed food.
I ordered some toast and was just starting to spread when the ladybird appeared and threw my plate in the air.
There was dairy fat everywhere.
|
|
| |
"Ha", he says "Now we'll see who can make the butter fly..." |
|
| |