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Walk-n-Wipe

Why waste time wiping?
  (+2, -1)
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Everyone gets wedgies sometimes, and no one likes to waste time wiping after a trip to the can, so why not combine the two? Walk-n-Wipe! Insert a Walk-n-Wipe pad into your briefs and you're on your way. Never wipe again, Walk-n-Wipe will do it for you! Specially designed briefs with an elastic wedgie band help to wipe thoroughly and the scented insert keeps you feeling and smelling fresh. Now you can cut your bathroom time in half!
JesseOQ, Aug 01 2003

Bathroom Hygiene http://www.gphealth...com/tips/toilet.asp
Yuck Butt Germs! [JesseOQ, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       If this is the point you've reached in your life, when you don't even want to wipe your ass anymore, you might as well just go all the way and wear diapers. Then you don't even have to bother walking all the way to the bathroom. Oh yeah! More time for binge drinking and Simpsons reruns.
DeathNinja, Aug 01 2003
  

       (-). Wipe. Wash hands. Then leave bathroom.
Didn't your mother teach you anything?
Cedar Park, Aug 01 2003
  

       I never said you don't have to wash your hands!
JesseOQ, Aug 01 2003
  

       If you're going back into the bathroom later to retrieve your Walk-N-Wipe, and wash your hands, how are you saving time?
Cedar Park, Aug 01 2003
  

       Got the category right, at least.   

       I'll give it a croissant if the author tries it and reports back.
snarfyguy, Aug 01 2003
  

       // develop the habit of voting for your own ideas. //   

       ...But don't vote for them immediately or it's too obvious. Wait a few days, then vote for your idea.
phundug, Aug 01 2003
  

       // develop the habit of voting for your own ideas. //   

       Why?
snarfyguy, Aug 01 2003
  

       Get pillowcase from puke pillow.
Put stretched pillowcase between legs.
Put on clothing.
Posit pillowcase "handles" *up* and *out*, front and rear.
Wipe by tugging pillowcase to and fro.
Drink excessively. Or don't.
Remove skid-mark encrusted pillowcase from sweaty, clammy skin.
Attach pillowcase to puke pillow.
*Retch* your heart out.
Rinse (optional) and repeat.
thumbwax, Aug 01 2003
  

       gold like real gold, or Folsom Prison gold?
DeathNinja, Aug 01 2003
  

       A prototype is under construction, but i need bigger rubberbands. Where can i get industrial strength rubberbands?
JesseOQ, Aug 01 2003
  

       Have you tried truck innertubes?
FarmerJohn, Aug 01 2003
  

       Those are TOO big, I will search for a rubber band distributer online.
JesseOQ, Aug 01 2003
  

       Would 9" by 1/4" rubberbands suffice? Thats the largest standard size available, I may need custom made rubberbands. I will cut them and stitch them into the lining of the briefs. Any suggestions for scented inserts? Maybe with aloe and lotion. It will secure with velcro. By the way, I'm looking for investors if anyone is interested.
JesseOQ, Aug 01 2003
  

       HA!   

       Please keep us posted.
snarfyguy, Aug 01 2003
  

       I am interested in investing in something that will sicken the population.I feel the need to help feces laden freaks with no bowel control to lace their their undergarments with bacteria infested crap,sounds like a winner!
pig, Aug 01 2003
  

       It's a fecal fantasia!
snarfyguy, Aug 02 2003
  

       Why so many fish bones? You haven't yet experienced the freshness of the scented aloe pads! Here's a deal, free Walk-n-Wipes for every person who gives a croissant!
JesseOQ, Aug 02 2003
  
      
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