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Where I live, cows are sometimes moved
about by being hearded down the local
lanes and roadways. This creates an
obvious traffic hazard, especially in the
poor light of early winter mornings. What
they obviously need is some sort of
clearly
visible warning system.
This problem is solved
by equipping
them
with Wandering Bovine Traffic Flashers.
These are simple, flashing lights which
behave like a set of indicators, fitted to
the
tips of the cow's horns. They have long
life
batteries and movement sensors that
respond to the general orientation of
the
cows' heads.
When they move in a straight line both
lights flash together. When they veer to
the right or left, the corresponding lights
start blinking.
Road Cows
http://www.intangib...9/Day5/251_cows.jpg
these ones obviously need to be wearing the viking helmets, described by UB in his annotation [xenzag, Jan 04 2008]
Traffic Flashers are dangerous!
http://www.youtube....watch?v=JxmxzmoZWCE
[jaksplat, Jan 05 2008]
[link]
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Whne travelling at excessive speed in a souped-up Land Rover with inadequate brakes, coming round a corner to encounter an cow parked without lights in the centre of a country lane is guaranteed to cause major sphincter relaxation. |
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Have an entire tray of heat-treated dough ...... [++++++++++] |
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This is going to present problems with poll (i.e. hornless) breeds, unless you make the idea a Viking helmet arrangement for all cattle, whether they have horns or not. |
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I quite like the idea of cattle wearing mandatory horned helmets with flashing lights. |
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Hot plus bun if you can work that into the idea. |
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... solar powererd, rechargeable .... |
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Methane powered, shirley? |
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So these _aren't_ cows standing on their hind legs by the side of the road, waiting for unsuspecting motorists, then opening their cloaks and waggling their udders shamelessly? Dang. |
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Ah, I got here just an anno too late. |
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// by the side of the road // |
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A much safer place (for both cow and motorist). |
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"Hang on, there's a blinking light up ahead, I wonder what that could be, I'd better slow down. Hmm strange, I can't see what it's attached to, it seems like it's just floating in the middle of the road. Aargh! a cow! Thank goodness it had a light on or I'd never have noticed it." |
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I presume you only need these on the first and last few of the herd? |
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They all need them, so that they can flock
like birds. |
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I like it. Cattle should be seen, not herd. |
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But what about the flocking road cows? |
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The flock of Daleks will get them ? |
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Yet another application for Flocking Road Cones! Although these would require off-road all-terrain capabilities, at least to a certain degree. |
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Each cow would have to wear a sensor, like a pendant, maybe attached to their cowbell, if they play. Once a cow hits the road, the nearest Flocking Road Cone rushes to its side, senses which traffic lane is being used and deploys itself so as to provide maximum warning space. As more Cones arrive, the scene takes on a festive aura, sort of like a small parade, particularly when the Flocking Road Cone Band arrives to play a stirring rendition of "Don't Fear The Reaper" with multiple bovine accompaniment on cowbell. |
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"Road Cows" link not working. |
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Works for me! Shows a lovely photo of a bovine convoy on an English country road. |
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+ I like it, but do the cows really go out at night?
Oh yeah, *when the cows come home* must mean that they stay out all night, huh? |
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//do the cows really go out at night?// |
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I was in a Land-Rover stationwagon with my uncle very early one morning, on the Flinders Highway (not the busiest road on earth), when we ploughed into a small herd of cows sleeping on the road. Hilarity ensued. |
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// do the cows really go out at night // |
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Cows are very stupid creatures; not as bad as sheep or chickens, and brighter than Trolls, but still remarkably dull-witted and dense. It's the generations of selective inbreeding, like you get in Alabama and Georgia .... anyway, cows can move quite quickly when they want to, and are remarkably strong, but this is of little or no value to them as they are quite happy to wander round aimlessly for a couple of years and then be eaten. |
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A cow, offered any sort of gap in a hedge, fence or gate, will wander through to see what's "on the other side". It will then most ikely be unable to find its way back, although this is of little concern to the beast as they have the attention span of a stunned goldfish and will simply wander on and on in search of something to eat (grass, shrubs, washing on a line, plastic bags, axle grease). Dark and rain inhibiteth them not from their wanderings. So they stroll onward until someone spots them and orgainses them to be returned to their home field, or they come into sudden, savage contact with a mechanically-propelled vehicle, which is frequently disastrous for both parties. |
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You haven't had much contact with cows, have you, [xandram] ? |
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// Cows are very stupid creatures; not as bad as sheep // Based on experience as a herder of both, I could give you incontrovertible proof that each is far stupider than the other. |
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// do the cows really go out at night // Cows don't know what time it is. Except dairy cows, who know *precisely* what time it is. |
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//or they come into sudden, savage contact with a mechanically-propelled vehicle, which is frequently disastrous for both parties.// |
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Yeeesssss, we felt compelled to end the misery of one of the cows we hit, as it had two broken hind legs. As the only weapon we could find was a 24 ball-pein hammer, the dispatching of said bovine was a protracted and sickening affair. |
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Bear in mind we were in the middle of a deserted highway with a damaged car at 2 in the morning, whilst performing a live sacrifice at a Mk IIa 4WD Shrine to Solihull. It was not the least unusual thing I've ever done. |
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Was... was... was the Land Rover all right ? <sob, snivel> |
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A few kinks in the right mudguard and a bent bullbar. It was a 1967 model, so the headlights were still inboard of the 'guards. We therefore had both feeble headlights still working, though the spotlights were in need of realignment. |
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We pulled the mudguard away from the tyre, pointed the spots at the road and drove on, as you usually can in a Land-Rover. |
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// therefore had both feeble headlights still working // |
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Wow, you bought the full upgrade to two feeble headlights ? Traditionally, only ine was installed, which only worked about half the time (in the dry; in rain, it was less reliable, and tuning on the windsreen wiper increased the electrical load to the point where the ligting went out altogether......) |
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I think jaksplat's link capably demonstrates the appeal of the twin-headlight system. |
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Hence the need for spotlights. The original engine (6-cyl petrol) had been returned to its original role as anchor for an aircraft carrier and replaced with a 202cu. in. Holden motor. |
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This allowed a real alternator and a second battery to be fitted (recommended, what with the sudden weight reduction in the front end) so things were much brighter than originally intended by the designer of the electrical system, Lucas, Prince Of Darkness. |
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