h a l f b a k e r y
Keep out of reach of children.
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I understand the need for the toilet water level to be maintained at a particular height for sanitary reasons. But guys, don't we all have problems with having to hold our member up out of the water to keep it from getting wet? Why haven't I heard anyone else complain about this? Maybe it's a little
embarrassing, but many products are out there that solve embarrassing problems.
Of course, the main problem with the dry member necessity is the inability to hold the newspaper up while the one hand is performing the duty. But rather than invent some complex mechanism to hold the member up for us, I think a simple caddy by the seat that can swivel into position for holding the paper up in front of you is a much simpler solution.
That's all.
I guess at least one other person has had this problem
http://answers.yaho...060802182606AAVm7kD
(I just love the most popular answer.) [DrCurry, Jan 24 2008]
...and at least one other nutty inventor:
http://www.freepate...ne.com/6948195.html
A penis shelf?! That sounds more unsanitary than the original problem! [DrCurry, Jan 24 2008]
Halfbaked - Prior Art
Littlest_20Library_20Lectern
[ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 25 2008]
[link]
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get a red top - much easier to hold. |
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well... after The Incident[1], I was court-ordered to wear "the offending member" in a sling, so I don't have that problem, however it occurs to me that varying the periodical one chooses to peruse, would also make the problem moot.
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[1] I maintain that that hedgehog shouldn't have been there. |
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Why [toaster], are there some periodicals that are, um... designed... for, uh, one-handed... operation, as it were...? |
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Can't you just tuck it up into your armpit
like everyone else? |
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Oh, I used to, [MB], when I was single... |
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What, like, you've got two now?? |
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Not "it was single", "_I_ was single". |
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You see, certain relations (OK, _a_ certain relation - I don't have two of that, either) took unkindly to the armpit practice when it came time to repay me for any romantic kindness I may have.. uh, saved up, shall we say. |
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//Not "it was single", "_I_ was single".
// |
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I don't see how that picture of it helps.
Anyway, it doesn't look very big. |
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Well, you have to consider the scale. For instance, the "w" in "was" is the length of a gear shift shaft. See? |
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You're *really* into LEGO Technix, aren't you, [gt]? |
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"don't we all have problems with having to hold our member up out of the water to keep it from getting wet?" - um, no. Perhaps you have forgotten to put the seat down? |
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In the states, this issue was mostly resolved when "low-flow" toilets became mandated in private residences. The water level is extremely low, and unlikely to cause a "wet member" condition. |
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Well, unlikely for you perhaps, [ed]... |
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Let me guess... you also find the bowl unreasonably tight? Perhaps you have the wrong head stuck in the water? |
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I have never heard of this problem. I'm stil not clear. Is it the nuts that get wet, or the dukey? |
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Thanks for your concern over the details of this boy's club meeting agenda item [blissmissy]. I am fairly confident that those who need to understand that the singular term "member" has a very specific meaning do. Perhaps you missed the triangle on the door there...? |
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It's a problem specific to the US [bliss], where toilet pans used to hold a lot of water (now no longer the case, I believe?). If you could dangle either the beans or the frank in the water in toilets in most of the rest of the world it would be because you had something like 15 inches of fruit hanging in the bunch... possible, but unlikely. |
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U.S. people will discorroborate the opening comment of the anno above as incorrect (i.e. there is not now nor ever has been such a problem in the U.S.), thus... |
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Altogether now, "Do your balls hang low, Do they wobble to and fro..." |
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//(i.e. there is not now nor ever has been such a problem in the U.S.), thus...// |
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So, why did you post this idea? |
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Can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow? |
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Hold it up all you like, won't make no difference 'cos the splashback's still gonna get ya. |
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Can you tie 'em up with ribbons, every time you go? |
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If you replace the word 'member' with penis the idea gets even gayer. |
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