Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Wooden Trousers

made by skilled craftsmen
  (+23, -3)(+23, -3)(+23, -3)
(+23, -3)
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against]

Over the centuries many beautiful objects have been crafted from wood. Wood is a lovely material, superb texture and perfume. Carve exquisitely decorated trousers. Polish to perfection. Hinge unobtrusively in polished brass, or for a more modern look, titanium. Line with fine velvet, in contrasting colours. Wonderful.
Harry Mudd, Jul 02 2007

Wooden Trousers Holder http://hangergiant....rousers_Holder.html
And a whole range of support services grew around this idea - almost instantly. [zen_tom, Jul 03 2007]

Wooden Coat Hangers http://www.jonathan...en_coat_hangers.htm
Someone out there has already taken this idea and created wooden coats. [zen_tom, Jul 03 2007]

(?) Wooden trousers, coat, hat, shirt, and tie http://www.liviodemarchi.com/casa8_uk.htm
By Italian woodworker Livio De Marchi [discontinuuity, Jul 05 2007]

(?) Novelty wooden neckties http://www.noveltie.com/purchasing.htm
[discontinuuity, Jul 05 2007]

[link]






       Ah! Ah!! AHHHHGH! Splinter!!!!! Oh wait, it's just this croissant in my pants.
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 02 2007
  

       Then the spring came, and with it, the woodpeckers...
neutrinos_shadow, Jul 02 2007
  

       No titanium. Wood.
wagster, Jul 02 2007
  

       With louvres for hot days.

(Note: Actually, it is possible to buy wooden trousers. You can buy trousers made from rayon, which is a fibre made from viscose, which is made from wood cellulose).
hippo, Jul 03 2007
  

       You could branch out into wooden shirts.
skinflaps, Jul 03 2007
  

       Baked by Pinocchio.
xandram, Jul 03 2007
  

       [hippo] Rayon is even less wood than paper is. Same raw material, but completely changed in all macroscopic physical properties. But I see your points.
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 03 2007
  

       I thought Pinocchio's trousers were made out of paint?
wagster, Jul 03 2007
  

       [wagster] You at thinking of $STARLET
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 03 2007
  

       My noodly appendage may not enjoy this.
RayfordSteele, Jul 03 2007
  

       Oh, I think [wags] is right. OK then, this gives a new meaning to "Liar, liar, pants on fire".
xandram, Jul 03 2007
  

       They should be called hölzernhose though. The advertising slogan could be "Got wood?"   

       I think this is a WIBNI (wooden it be nice if).
marklar, Jul 03 2007
  

       For the man who has everything, a pair of double pleated wooden trousers made from 4,500 year old English Oak recovered from a peat bog in Ireland. [+]
nuclear hobo, Jul 03 2007
  

       //My noodly appendage may not enjoy this//   

       Maybe a codpiece with an inlaid Jolly Roger?
nomocrow, Jul 03 2007
  

       Finally my clogs will be an appropriate accessory.   

       RUN FOREST!   

       Shortly followed by the mercifully brief simulated wood grain formica swimwear craze.
normzone, Jul 04 2007
  

       I think these would need a pair of heavy duty suspenders.   

       And how would the hips twist and hinge sideways?
BJS, Jul 05 2007
  

       Ah! Sir would like the upgraded FLEXIBLE wooden trousers.
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 05 2007
  

       "On which side does Sir dress one's morning wood?"
Ling, Jul 06 2007
  

       Sit still! Got termites in your pants?
melanerpes, Jul 07 2007
  

       Wooden fit
BunsenHoneydew, Jul 07 2007
  

       Haven't been to the bakery in a while - shocked to see that nobody has mentioned "pole pants".
Trodden, Jul 09 2007
  

       They wouldn't bend enough so I think they'd be uncomfortable, even with the hinge. Sorry (-)   

         

       Clogs were notoriously uncomfortable ..
britboy, Jul 09 2007
  

       ...before the advent of the felt-liner breakthrough.
Texticle, Jul 09 2007
  

       I thought rubber clogs were really the popular shoe this year. Aren't they called gators or crocks or something?
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 09 2007
  

       I changed my vote on this one. I think the NutCrackers can use some new trousers.
xandram, Dec 16 2014
  

       ideal for a box pleat, assuming I haven't just made that up..   

       May I add to the acronym pile...IJCBBTLIUOASE which is" I | just couldn't be bothered to look it up on a search engine",
not_morrison_rm, Dec 17 2014
  

       Wooden trousers would be handy if the wearer had problems with their lower spine and needed a lumber puncture ...
8th of 7, Dec 17 2014
  

       Whatever floats your boat ...
8th of 7, May 03 2016
  

       Would it be appropriate to wear these when operating the Spruce Goose?
goldbb, May 03 2016
  

       /Balsa wood?/   

       No, but you might find some nearby.
bungston, May 10 2016
  

       Ok people all joking aside could you not implement something like they used for plate armor pants. it would be bulky and hard to work in but.......that's not the point.
dev45, May 12 2016
  

       /hard to work in/ Depends on your line of work. If, like me, you are paid to stand around and look good these pants can only help.   

       Consider a wooden skirt, pteruge-style with overlapping short planks. You would look sort of like a hardwood floor. But you could run in it, high kick should the situation require it, and you could have some spare pteruges handy if one of them got damaged or left behind.
bungston, May 13 2016
  

       Some mediaeval Japanese armours had wooden lamellae as structural elements.
8th of 7, May 13 2016
  

       It's the right time of man. Hipsters will buy anything.
r_kreher, May 28 2016
  
      
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