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Business Failure Incubator
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Picture the scene: You're rich enough to be worried about your personal security, especially since that idea you *didn't* post hit the stores and has sold like hot cakes.
Now you want someone suitably intimidating and cheap to keep, to watch your back.
Arnie! is a service devoted to the nouveau
riche, paranoid or those who simply want to make sure they make it home with wallet and looks intact on a Saturday morning after Friday night on the town.
Arnie! sends a former Special Forces operative to the destination of your choice upon receipt of funds. All operatives have undergone coaching in a menacing "Cherman" accent and display a broad repertoire of bad wisecrack jokes when needed. They have also been treated to some "necessary" cosmetic procedures and extensive gymwork, to create the look of an overstuffed bodybuilder with a short crewcut, ripped physique and camo pattern tattoos on selected areas.
Safe to leave babysit the kids, or to accompany you on a business trip to Chechnya, for whatever reason you would want to do that.
Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee
Destination URL.
E.g., http://www.coffee.com/
Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
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For female customers, do they also provide Personal Services ? If so, you have several potential customers in this locality who'll spend a fortune with you ..... |
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Hmmm. Sort of security guards who
temp? I wonder if existing agencies will
provide short-term cover on demand? |
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Actually, I quite like the idea. Not so
much for security, but I'd like to arrive at
some mundane little topology conference
flanked by two besunglassed, enearpieced
heavies, just so I could spend the rest of
the conference vehemently denying that
there was any significance to it. |
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Most of the other attendees would probably prefer if you were actually dragged away from the conference by same....... |
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Probably so, but that would have to be at
their own expense. And a merry New Year
to you also, 8th. |
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I can arrange for a black Hummer full of them to attend [8/7]'s fireworks factory and drag him off, kicking and screaming, [MB]. It'll be like the time he got stuck in the hatchway of the tank and had to be greased with dubbin and lard to get him in and out. |
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You promised not to mention that again ... it wasn't funny ! |
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I'm sure a well-placed firework would have
worked just as well. And don't worry,
[8th], I shan't tell a soul. |
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<rubs bruised ego ruefully> |
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<fawning obsequiously> And a mightily broad and fleshy ego it is too, sir! </fo> |
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//menacing "Cherman" accent// |
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Occasionally, I get to work in Austria, and as is the case all over the world, there are very distinct regional accents there. Arnie's I'm told, is the Austrian equivalent of a kind of 'ooh arr' country-bumkinian accent, which the Viennese seem to find hilarious. |
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With a name that means "From Black Ridge" I guess that's not surprising. |
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Sorry, Blackwater hired all of these guys out awhile ago. |
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