Inspired in part by fogfreak's "Talk to a human service"..
Callers on hold for support tend to be on hold awhile. Not everybody has time in their day to wait this long. How would YOU like to be next in line? Well, you can be, if the price is right..
Callers on hold hear this recorded message
between muzak tracks: "Thank you for choosing xxxx. Your business is imporant to us. Thank you for holding. Your estimated hold time is...2... hours. If you would like to enter the Zany EBay Call Queue Auction, press star now".
Thank you for participating in the Zany EBay Call Queue Auction. This auction repeats every 10 minutes. The winner of this auction will become the next person in line for support in the specified time slot. Please enter your credit card information after the tone, blah blah.. followed by the pound key.
BEEP BEEP.. #
The current hold time is: 2 hours. The current local time is now 1:03 PM. We are now accepting bids for the 1:10 - 1:20 PM timeslot. The current bid is $84. If you would like to make a bid, please press star. If you would like to sit this auction out and participate in the next auction, press pound. If you would like to set a reserve, press 1 now. If you would like to return to the regular hold service, press 0 and reach for the Advil.
The current bid is now $92. To bid one dollar higher, press 1. To enter a bid manually, press 2.
Please enter your bid in a whole dollar amount, followed by the pound key.
BEEP BEEP BEEP #
You have entered ...three....hundred....dollars.... If this is correct, press 1. If this is not correct, press 2.
Your bid has been entered. Please hold, and we will announce the winner of this auction in... six...minutes.
After 6 minutes of horrible muzak: Congratulations! You are the winner of this Zany EBay Call Queue Auction! We will bill your credit card at this time, and pending approval, you will be immediately connected with a support technician. Thank you.
Losers go back to the auction. Auction participants still retain their normal place in the queue, so consistent losers still will eventually get to talk to a support tech.
A portion of the proceeds goes to charity, why not...