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"Laugh Riot" Control Gas

It's a beautiful world
  (+19, -2)(+19, -2)
(+19, -2)
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As our cities get bigger and disparities between classes wider, we are likely to see more and more rioting.

Traditionally, riots have brought out police with bigger guns, thicker body armour and more aggression and control than the riots.

STOP! It doesn't have to be this way, people!

Instead of black, menacing body armour, have the cops wear flesh-coloured armour, filmy black lingerie and fishnet stockings (Black, peaked caps are still OK).

Instead of rubber bullets... marshmallows and marzipan, laced with diazepam. Distribute hundreds of thousands of "Eccies". They'll get some of the crowd in.

Riot control vehicles look and sound like ice cream vans, playing "Greensleeves" as they move through crowds, spraying sticky marshmallow, ice cream and chocolate syrup. Huge water cannons on the rooftops of the trucks soak the crowd in Raspberry Lemonade.

Helicopters "bomb" the crowd with hundreds of cubic metres of whipped cream.

Instead of CS tear gas, helium (It's damned hard to behave angry when you sound like Alvin the Chipmunk) and nitrous oxide (Everything is so dreamy). The gas dissipates quickly but can be loaded into fire extinguishers and sprayed into crowds at high pressures. Both being gases that are highly miscible with air they are very difficult to filter, unlike CS, which can be filtered reasonably well with a wet cloth.

Riots become raves, fists become waves.

UnaBubba, Mar 21 2006

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       I like the thought of Greensleeves chiming away drearily as rioters are mown down by twin 40mm fully automatic van-mounted marshmallow cannons. I'd like to see that from an upstairs window.
Texticle, Mar 21 2006
  

       The last (and one of the few) protests I went to was a protest against the Klan meeting in a suburb of the metro area where I live. When I got there & took in everything I came to the emotional conclusion that the police felt like I was one of the Terrorists, not the Klan.   

       Swat gear, fire hoses, what looked like real automatic kit, & dogs + 2 I pegged as undercover cops in the crowd were all pointed at us, those protesting against the Real Terrorists.   

       Cannibus grenades & N02 hoses would probably work just as well as a riot deterent. + from me.
Zimmy, Mar 21 2006
  

       //Riots become raves// [UnaBubba]
Friday *and* Saturday night riot EVERY week. You better have a well-resourced PD.
  

       This idea is laughable [+].
methinksnot, Mar 21 2006
  

       ...picture yourself in a crowd by the river with tangerine dreams & marshmallow hair...   

       The riots in Sydney have not started up again have they?
Zimmy, Mar 21 2006
  

       I recall a yellow caftan dress...
UnaBubba, Mar 21 2006
  

       That was YOU?!
methinksnot, Mar 21 2006
  

       Some would think this a good reason to stage a riot.
Shz, Mar 21 2006
  

       Ditto. Preferably close to a campus. Or where I work....
Tanned Black, Mar 22 2006
  

       +++++This is so wonderful. Peace to you brother.
xandram, Mar 22 2006
  

       //That was YOU?!//   

       Methinks not.
UnaBubba, Mar 22 2006
  

       Fantastic! Though a problem might be rioting becomes so much fun that it actually increases dramatically. Not a bad thing in this case...
Eggplant, Sep 12 2009
  

       It's gotta be a good thing in Sydney's west, or where Indian students gather in Melbourne, right?
UnaBubba, Sep 12 2009
  

       Zimmy, your cannabis grenade idea is possibly the finest idea I have ever heard. Possibilities....
unfettered, Sep 12 2009
  

       I can't remember whether RastaMan used them.
UnaBubba, Sep 12 2009
  

       Please disperse in an orderly manner, or just fall down laughing where you are, so we can drag you away.
Sparkyplugclean, Sep 12 2009
  
      
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