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It often happens, to many people, that the alarm that is to wake them in the morning instead becomes incorporated into their dream and they fail to wake up on time.
For instance people who use their radio as an alarm will often dream that they are indeed listening to some sweet tunes and not take
the sound as a clue that it's time to switch over to the crueler dimension. Even those that use an unpleasant sound as an alarm may instead dream that the source of the sound is in the dream world and instead try to deactivate the sound from within that realm - which undoubtedly becomes a hilarious dreamland adventure.
The "This is Not a Dream" Alarm Clock uses advanced psychological methods to coax a reluctant mind back into the real world. At first it starts off by blaring "This is not a dream wake up!" over and over again. This should work, however the psyche is complex. After a short time the message changes to, "When it was said that this is not a dream, it was meant that you are in fact dreaming, but this message is not in fact part of your dream!"
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Eventually, it should just start blaring "This is a ten second bomb! Nine... Eight... Seven..." just like that a psych warfare bomb in Starship Troopers (The book, not the intolerably shitty movie). |
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Actually, it was a thirty second bomb, I think. But good book though! |
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Open your eyes and go to work, do not, I repeat, DO NOT wake up |
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It could eventually start confusing you with difficult maths challenges, as your brain worked more and more you would wake up automatically: |
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"OK then, whats the cubic root of 125? And after that, work out the angle of the leaning tower of Pisa, in 5 seconds!" |
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"This is not a drill"...This is <LOUD dentists drill sound> |
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"This is not a love song" |
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My new phone <proud!> has a variety of alarm sounds to choose from. I favour the gentle, quiet chimes of a Bach rip-off. My partner favours the loud Samba with alarm bell sound. |
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I've dreamt that one! Wouldn't work on my mornings. |
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Not as fun as the old "I'm standing at the top of Niagara Falls in a forest of urinals." one. THAT wakes you up. |
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Had friends who used to wake up family members by pouring juice on the head. The juice didn't wake them, it was the dog licking it off. |
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How about a spider Roomba™ with a big tongue? |
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Maybe it is the familiarity of the alarm tone that fails to arouse you to wakefullness? Maybe if your phone could download a random sound for the alarm each day the unfamiliar would have you waking up with a shout of "What the effing jeff was that!!!". |
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Some possibles are:
Cockrel crowing
Someone shouting "Boobies!!"
Night jungle sounds (Screeches etc...)
A swanee wistle.
Sid James laughing
A table tennis match
Car doors slamming
Mice squeaking
Engines revving
OK, You get the idea.... |
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I always find I get used to most alarms apart from my most recent purchase which says the time. This one works especially well as you always wake up much quicker when you think you are late |
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A song to avoid would be definately be "Sunny and Cher's" "I got you babe". |
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This is not a dream alarm, sha-la-la-la-la. |
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Deep Dish featuring Puff Daddy - "this is not a dream [...] your dreams have now been fulfilled, let's get up and let's get ill". |
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I like the idea, except for the contradiction it inserts in one's subconscious - that is //that the alarm [...]becomes incorporated into their dream// vs //"This is Not a Dream"//. So we've got the perfect recipe for a morning head-ache. |
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ill just see how it goes and give you my vote tomorow morning |
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But what if you then had a dream in which you heard an alarm clock---even an alarm clock that said "This is not part of your dream"? You'd really be setting yourself up for that. |
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