Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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<SECRET> Phonetic Date Menu

sound smarter next time you order
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Rather than sound like a complete moron next time you go out to eat at the Lé Fancy Restaurant, having no idea how to pronounce item #12, slip the waiter a five spot and a double wink at the door and he'll give you the Phonetic Menu. It looks identical to your date or guests menu on the outside, but inside, after the French name of the item is the phonetic spelling of the word. Just read those characters correctly and "hors dourve" sounds like it should (or derv).

Of course, I don't know how to phonetically spell that back-of-throat-nasally-hairball sound some people make when speaking with a mock French accent, but we'll figure it out.

macncheesy, May 13 2007

(?) Monty Python's "Hungarian Phrase Book" sketch. http://www.youtube....watch?v=p_ve37gVwxw
[DrBob, May 21 2007]

[link]






       I'll have the râts âs.
DrCurry, May 13 2007
  

       I'll just have the horsed ovaries, please.
nuclear hobo, May 13 2007
  

       This must have been invented by someone French by now.   

       Should've been invented long ago in China by now.
Ian Tindale, May 14 2007
  

       If a restaurant only has its menu in a foreign language, it's being pretentious and hoping you'll be a bit indimidated - don't eat there.
hippo, May 14 2007
  

       Yes sir, I would like to order some phonetics with bearnaise sauce.
xandram, May 14 2007
  

       I'll have the number 19, and the number 46… I hope I pronounced that correctly.
Ian Tindale, May 14 2007
  

       I thought more people would attempt phonetic spelling of odd foreign cuisine.
macncheesy, May 15 2007
  

       How about a menu with a sound chip that says the words out loud, while you just lip-sync?
phundug, May 15 2007
  

       I would like the beeg mak please.
Noexit, May 15 2007
  

       //indimidated//sounds about right.
po, May 15 2007
  

       oeuf sur le plat et pommes de terre frits, please
Dub, May 15 2007
  

       Sp: hors d'oeuvre.   

       And the trick is to simply say "I'll have the soup, and then the duck." There is no need to lower yourself as far as trying to speak menuese - that is the job of the waiters.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 15 2007
  

       Indeed. Potage d'amygdale de cheval then the lèvres miel-rôties de canard.
Texticle, May 15 2007
  

       It won't work where I live, because English is not phonetic.
d, May 16 2007
  

       The menu would be spelled phonetically for the mass population of area.
macncheesy, Jun 27 2007
  
      
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