Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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dog-waterproofing

Spray dog once a week
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Dog Water-proofing Spray. The Japanese have a tendency towards dog-matism. Nowhere is this more apparent than in their treatment of pets. Taking your dog out for its daily ablutions? Outside equals 'coat putting on time.' As a consequence, especially in the rainy season, the average mutt walks the street bedecked with a sodden piece of cloth for no obvious reason. On return the owner immediately places this sodden mess in the washing machine, thereby not only wasting a whole array of natural resources but also flushing environmentally unfriendly detergent into the local rice fields. The obvious solution is similar to the waterproofing sprays typically used on suede shoes and rain coats. The dogs natural canine impermeability is reinforced by a quick spray once a week and the owner can be rest assured that her 'best friend' can poo in peace. We look forward to the revised expression 'like water off a dog's back.' Cheers, Buri
Buri, Aug 02 2013

water proof ducks http://www.howitwor...eathers-waterproof/
[po, Aug 02 2013]

[link]






       Welcome to the HB, [Buri]!
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2013
  

       True story.   

       When I was a kid, we had two american eskimos. These are like huskys, only smaller, 25 pounds or so, pure white, fluffy.   

       One of them always got dirty-looking very quickly. 2 weeks and she needed a bath. The other could go months. He cleaned himself like a cat. I was the designated dog cleaner.   

       One day I saw an old can of scotch-guard and thought I would try it on dirty dog after a bath. But how would I know if it worked, or if the dog was merely not in the dirt much?   

       I waited for the dog to dry, and then sprayed the left side of the dog heavily with scotch guard.   

       It seemed to have no effect on the dirt, and the dog survived.
Kansan101, Aug 02 2013
  

       You'd have to give the dog a buzz cut first.
FlyingToaster, Aug 02 2013
  

       //unfriendly detergent into the local rice fields   

       But very clean rice in the tambo.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 02 2013
  

       shouldn't it be - water off a duck's back as they are naturally water repellent! hello [Buri] - oops I think I misread the idea!
po, Aug 02 2013
  

       Uh,//revised expression//
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2013
  

       Just encase canine in amber.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 03 2013
  

       Don't they have plastic raincoats for dogs? You could just call it... a doggy bag.
lurch, Aug 03 2013
  

       Greetings, I accept there is a good case for encasing the dog in amber. For example, were one to find oneself in the midst of an ancient chinese festival one could court popularity not only by setting fire to it so the distinctive fragrance is released for all to enjoy. But also cooking the dog which is, I believe a popular source of nourishment at chinese festivals to this day. There is a safety factor involved here, too. Were one to utilize the rarest Dominican blue amber which turns blue in natural sunlight and any other partially or wholly ultraviolet light source one would be more visible to traffic. Particularly in long-wave UV light it has a very strong reflection, almost white. Cheers, buri
Buri, Aug 03 2013
  

       Drove by a Thai and Filippino food market yesterday. Reassuringly, there was a sign in the window saying 'No pets allowed'.
21 Quest, Aug 03 2013
  

       This idea is Half Baked for sure!   

       Well done, [Buri]. [+]
Grogster, Aug 03 2013
  

       // Outside equals 'coat putting on time.' As a consequence, especially in the rainy season, the average mutt walks the street bedecked with a sodden piece of cloth for no obvious reason. //   

       Fascinating. A minimal amount of practical research indicates that dogs are (for a statistically significant sample of two dogs) by and large entirely waterproof, and indeed buoyant. A literature search futher tends to show that a "dog" that is not entirely waterproof and indeed buoyant is either (a) not a dog at all, or (b) has a really, really serious problem.   

       Notably, many breeds of dog (specifically Spaniels) have been carefully bred over many decades to select for the character trait of "being too dumb to come in out of the rain".   

       On this basis, the whole dog-coat thing will just have to be ascribed to Generalised Japanese Weidness Syndrome, like Cosplay. Manga, Pachinko and the baggage handling system at Narita airport.
8th of 7, Aug 03 2013
  

       Greetings, a dog that is not waterproof may just be a poodle. BTW The sign outside the the food markets in question was probably something to do with the sex industry.
Buri, Aug 03 2013
  

       A few dabs of Rentishams, massaged into the fur, will make even the most absorbent dog waterproof and, consequently, quite bouyant. This was used to great advantage by the Derbyshire Coastal Rescue Service, who from 1877 to 1915 used waxed and trained labradors to come to the assistance of swimmers in difficulty.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2013
  

       Oh ! so Rentisham's was the infamous "dolphin wax" of the turn of the (previous) century ? The exact nature of the "holy grail" of surfing wax has been eluding them for over 70 years.   

       Of course that would also explain why Charles "Skip" Letterford, Grand National Champ 1935-1941('42?) was eaten by what was described as "a medium sized herd" of sharks during a practice run.   

       You should really label the containers more carefully.
FlyingToaster, Aug 03 2013
  

       Not quite. Boffo Rentisham went on a four-year fact-finding mission to California to study their waxing practices, in the hopes of further improving Rentisham's durability in saltwater. He returned tanned but dissapointed, reporting that their surfing waxes were little better than common poulting grease.   

       He was, however, much taken with their cars and with their custom of driving on the right, a habit which he has maintained ever since.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2013
  

       I tend to the read the title as "dog-waterboarding" which seems a trifle unkind.   

       As for "used waxed and trained labradors", if that's a Brazilian, then no photos please.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 03 2013
  

       Rentisham's does not, never has, and never will, stoop.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2013
  

       Maxwell, although it is widely assumed that the Derbyshire Coastal Rescue Service Dog Division was phased out in 1915 when the dogs in question found they could earn more appearing on Blue Peter, in actuality a skeleton service was maintained. This can be found at the Queen's Leisure Centre in Derby, where they zealously watch over the many participants in that location`s notorious Aqua Zumba program. If you are not familiar with this form of activity I can assure you that gives new meaning to the idea of an invigorating workout. In fact, according to the ex-members of the NSA now enjoying political asylum in Derbyshire, `The Aqua Zumba class blends the Zumba philosophy and traditional aqua fitness together into a safe, challenging, water-based workout that's toning, good for your heart and lungs, and exhilarating.` Unfortunately, the Zumba philosophy is based largely on the idea that enlightenment can only be achieved by holding your breathe underwater for at least 57 minutes. The dedicated, waterproofed canines of Derbyshire have pulled countless numbers of these corpses from the water before it starts to smell bad. Yet another example of unheralded yet faithful public service. Cheers, Buri
Buri, Aug 03 2013
  

       Breaking news: a spokesperson for the Derby Zumba Association has angrily denied the widely acknowledged figure of 10,000 corpses retrieved, stating that `this is not the Nanking Massacre.` He went on to accuse the Dog Division of being `a bunch of woofters.`
Buri, Aug 03 2013
  

       //in actuality a skeleton service was maintained...pulled countless numbers of these corpses from the water//   

       So, which was it?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2013
  
      
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