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Many people who believe in a god would like to see their pets again when they've died and gone to heaven. But acording to many god enthusiasts this will never happen. Animals live a life of debauchery, of ass sniffing and running around naked and peeing on whatever they want. Perhaps if there were a
church for dogs we would all see little fluffy again some day.
Here are some sample commandments:
thou shalt not covet thy neighbors leg, nor his lawn, nor his bitch
thou shalt not kill squirrels
thou shalt not steal socks and bury them in the yard.
Annotation:
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Amen, brother! And verily, all dogs shall go to heaven. |
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A world can't be all bad in which lostdog is the first one to respond to this idea. |
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Obligatory "God is dog spelled backwards" post. |
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Would the "King" be a German shepherd rather than a Jewish one? |
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Would the Pup be infallible? |
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Wouldn't you have to rename the catechism? |
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//Animals live a life of debauchery, of ass sniffing and running around naked and peeing on whatever they want// sounds like someone (human) that I know. |
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I can see this religion becoming quite dogmatic. |
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//Animals live a life of debauchery, of ass sniffing and running around naked and peeing on whatever they want// |
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Why do you think they're called "animals?" |
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Seems life is already one big tree of forbidden fruit for the dogs... seems overkill to send them to services once a week.
On the other hand, I'd love to hear them sing, "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God." |
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q. is dustin a tom or a queen? |
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<he also pees consistantly in his liter box.> Will you move him up to gallon when he gets bigger? |
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its just Tom's are generally more liberal with their spraying habits. sorry Tom/s |
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Croissant. Plus bonus points for the phrase, "god enthusiasts" |
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Obligatory: "My karma ran over my dogma." |
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Bone for you... good boy! |
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Canine Jehovah's Witnesses would, I imagine, be extremely difficult to get rid of: |
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"Have you considered God's plan for you?"
"I'm afraid I don't have time for - Aargh! Let go my throat!" |
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Young bob, you are like a dog moses. Although if a dog saw a burning bush, I'm sure he would extinguish it in short order. Croissant, and I would give another for the fine term "god enthusiast". |
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As an atheist, I had to reluctantly fishbone it. But I do agree with that tiresome woman that "it wouldn't be heaven without dogs." (And cats, of course, although I've developed an allergy to them.) |
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Grecosartre: Even as an Athiest I'm sure you have a code of conduct which you live by; don't you wish to forcefully impose it on every living creature you come across? |
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//its just Tom's are generally more liberal with their spraying habits.//
define: liberal |
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My cat, whom I love dearly, is an entirely amoral being. If there is a cat heaven, then she is in no way destined for it. |
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I don't think I have ever met a moral cat. Dogs, maybe, but not cats. |
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Pussy heaven will be a very quiet place. |
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Interesting; how we anthropomorphise our pets. Your cat may be a Supreme Court judge, when she's outside and you're off at work. (Not that there aren't amoral Supreme Court judges, I guess). |
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[bliss], dogs and cats are a higher form of love, aren't they? They seldom go back to their former owner. |
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[bobo], being a depressed existentialist, it's highly unlikely that I would want to impose that weltanschauung on puppies and kitties. I try very hard not to impose my worldview on anyone, but I suppose my moral code, if I have one, is close to the golden rule. (With a timeout for adultery, I suppose.) |
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My own view of the universe is that after death, your mind goes back into the collective unconscious. So, I suppose, does Fluffy's and Fang's. |
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I'm afraid only dumb beasts go to heaven. As we stand outside, looking through the bars of the golden gate, we'll observe the reigning cats and dogs. |
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//depressed existentialist//
Is it possible to be an existentialist without being depressed? |
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[UB] No anthropomorhism necessary. My cat has no concept of right and wrong. Dogs, on the other hand, do - hence the ability to exhibit guilt when they are bad. |
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Obligatory "Of course you all know that dyslexic atheists believe there is no dog" post. |
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...and if a religion does accomodate ass/crotch sniffing, running around naked, random fornication, public defecation urination... the next step would be coming up with some kind of rule where a human can have themselves officially registered as an animal, which would take off a lot of the pressure and yet allow them to remain holy. |
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It seems ridiculous, but it's not without precedent. Look at indulgences. |
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I know that pet owners do alot of really strange things for their pets. I've seen dog weddings, for instance (couldn't change the channel fast enough). But would they really want to put their dog into the car so they could take them to church once or more times a week? |
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Churches and religions exist because Man has questions and conflicts about his own existence and identity in the universe. Dogs (and even cats) show no sign of such conflict. They generally seem to do what they do in a near complete absence of such conflict. Whatever guilt they do evince generally arises directly from disobedience to their owners, not from disobedience to some Higher Power. |
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As for dogs going to heaven, they do seem to have a spark of something which allows them to be relational creatures. In that sense there is something somewhat humanlike in them, and, I suppose, that if humans go to heaven, then that part of dogs which is relational and has personality could never truly be lost forever. |
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With all the hypocrisy that goes on in churches, I'm not sure I could stand to see people pretending their dogs are that hypocritical. Cats maybe. |
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//Whatever guilt they do evince generally arises directly from disobedience to their owners, not from disobedience to some Higher Power// |
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I'm fairly certain that Owner = Higher Power, for dogs. |
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[whimsickle], your cat may have no concept of right and wrong... mine does. All cats were created equal, but some are more equal than others. |
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How could heaven be heaven without pets? |
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// My cat has no concept of right and wrong. // |
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you could at least have punned it up some. Democat. |
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Change intonation, retain language - continued understanding. If that's not a religious experience.... |
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// My cat has no concept of right and wrong. // |
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Great timing. I came across this shortly after hearing about the Republican attempt to redefine ethics (as things that Tom Delay doesn't feel threatened by). |
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Doggy debauchery v. god enthusiasts!
A cruller for you, I say!! |
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Nope. Not PC in this day in time. Goldfish will be offended. Is Heaven only for mammals? Naw, the ACLU would shoot this down in a hearbeat. Although, since I love my bassett hound I wouldn't mind seeing "In Dog We Trust" on my money. |
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Good. Doog. Now I know for certain I will reunite with all my dogs on dog heaven (human heaven is closed to me because...). Bum bum bum. |
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