h a l f b a k e r y
Just add oughta.
idea:
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, best, random
meta:
news, help, about, links, report a problem
account:
Browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
or Create a new account.
|
|
|
Please log in.
If you're not logged in,
you can see what this page
looks like, but you will
not be able to add anything.
hippo virus
A sort of *rhino* virus, but in a good way? | |
I am a wee bit skeptical lately, of all the old infamous bakers who have magically returned to the bakery. They don't sound the same, or even seem the same. But are they the same?
Dunno, am I me? Are you, you? Is that you?
So I think a friendly virus should/could sneak into the bakery and do some
"aDVANced SearCHIng" and see if these are the real deal, or just a cheap scam to lure reformed halfbakery addicts back to the boards. (At the risk of them getting fired for wasting company time, yet again.)
How will you know if I have actually hatched my evil HIPPO VIRUS yet on the bake site, or if I even know how to create such a menace you ask?
Hmmm...What does a hippo smell like anyway?
(I envisioned this after seeing a very violent attack on t.v. by a hippo. I didn't know they were so testy. The beast nearly ate a man whole.)
Annotation:
|
| |
Like a rhinovirus, but less horny ? |
|
| |
(yes, it is us, and we still hate cats, and love weapons... and spiders....) |
|
| |
Hippos kill more people in Africa than crocodiles - they are *extremely* dangerous. Even the ones in zoos with the sawn off teeth have been known to kill people. |
|
| |
But this is an anonymous forum - who cares if people are who they say they are, when they don't say who they are in the first place?! |
|
| |
Is it the same river when you return the next day? |
|
| |
What do they do, suck them to death ? |
|
| |
//who cares if people are who they say
they are//
I'm not Spartacus! |
|
| |
Everyone but me is Spartacus. |
|
| |
I'm not [UnaBubba] and nor is my wife! |
|
| |
I care if people are who they say they are, but who am I to say who is they? |
|
| |
We don't think you can prove that. |
|
| |
There is only one thing rhino, and that is; I was he. |
|
| |
Possibly the other thing I know is that Hippos don't smell of anything. I once had the dubious honour of unleashing one of the world's first, truly useless, SUV's on our consumer market. This happened at a curious coastal fresh water lagoon, which happened to be tidally flooded by sea water. The hippos in the lagoon left the salt water for, well, greener pastures. After a particularly well timed promotional event we discovered that we (our camp and the SUV's which we returned to) were between the hippos and their fresh water time. After a "herd" of only a handful of these creatures had past through the camp, the general consesus was, after the fact: they smell like the human feces of the people at the camp at that time, their footfalls are like the flapping of an owl's wings, and collision tests on the german SUV (mutiplied by 5) obviously did not include a 3 ton wall travelling at 40 km/h. We managed to reach an amicable arrangement where we were not in the way of the hippos' ground base, and they didn't need to watch us drive pathetic cars over pseudo-4wheel drive courses. After that, in a reasnable proximity, they smell of cows, but can "moo" the fuck out of any animal I know. |
|
| |
How will this virus work? |
|
| |
4whom you are wrong [hippo] is a sweet fragrant handsome beast. |
|
| |
// did not include a 3 ton wall travelling at 40 km/h. // |
|
| |
So much for the traditional Teutonic thoroughness. Alas, standards are falling everywhere .... |
|
| |
//yup// but his mating call needs attention. |
|
| |
//But are they the same?// |
|
| |
I think we're all who we say we are. At least I'm half the man I used to be. |
|
| |
I am half the man I used to be, and so is my wife! |
|
| |
bliss, I wasn't paying full attention when I first read your parenthetic last paragraph and I was going to ask why the hippo was attacking the TV so violently, but then I realized there have been a few occasions where I might have felt the same way towards my TV set. Do carry on. |
|
| |
Just so everyone's clear, I am who I said I was when I said I was who I am. And that's as true today as it was when I said it. |
|
| |
Well, I just lifted up my flaps and twiddled my ailerons.Yep, all present and correct. |
|
| |
If you have to play with your joystick, please don't do it in a public place, you dirty little sod. |
|
| |
Uh oh. We're not going to go through another phase of frantic past-harking are we? |
|
| |
Just for the record, this is the 13th incarnation of [zen_tom]. I quite liked the 2nd through 6th manifestations, the 7th was a total wanker, most of [zen_tom] has since been automated, or outsourced to Bangalore. |
|
| |
Normal service will be resumed shortly. |
|
| |
By the way, what is "aDVANced SearCHIng"? |
|
| |
Taking the capital letters, we get "DVAN S CHI" - and splitting out the lower cases, we get "aced earing". Obviously there's a secret message hidden in there somewhere. |
|
| |
I am who I am and that's all that I am,
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.
Oh, no I'm not, I'm Spartacus's wife. |
|
| |
There's only one of me...in this reality. |
|
| |
Wait a minute, I'm not an old-timer and I never went anywhere. |
|
| |
I don't know about DVAN's chi but mine has been a bit off kilter lately. |
|
| |
// 13th incarnation of [zen_tom]. // |
|
| |
Tell us, Doctor, what does regeneration feel like ? We liked you better when you were Jon Pertwee. |
|
| |
(by the way, we don't like the Cybermen either - tin-headed has-beens - so there is no need to threaten us with your sonic screwdriver) |
|
| |
I'm me, always have been, even when you thought I was someone else. |
|
| |
(Ironically, now I've moved from England to Ditroit, I AM an englishman abroad.) |
|
| |
I don't have much to say as usual. |
|
| |
//How will this virus work?// Good
question. |
|
| |
One of the first symptoms is difficulty getting your custard to set... |
|
| |
yes, jiggling it about has no effect |
|
| |
It took 33 annos before custard came up in this discussion. Therefore, none of you are really yourselves, or who you say you are. As a matter of fact, I may not be me. |
|
| |
The fact that [blissmiss] created this idea (which now has many bones) confirms this. Obviously, someone doesn't want the truth out there. |
|
| |
Finally, [lostdog] is Spartacus. |
|
| |
This concludes my detective work for today. Gooodnight. |
|
| |
//Obviously, someone doesn't want the truth out there.// |
|
| |
Your first, and most obvious, mistake is to look for the truth in here. The HB would have to be one of the largest repositories of misinformation on the entire 'net. |
|
| |
//Finally, [lostdog] is Spartacus.// If
there isn't a porn movie out there called
"Spurtacus", I'll eat my cat. |
|
| |
Not that a quick Google turns up. "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty... dinner time." |
|
| |
OK, can anyone lend me either a
camcorder or a cat, please? |
|
| |
Professional-quality digital video equipment is on its way to you right now. |
|
| |