Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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use questionable courtesy

courtesy just isn't as well received as intended anymore
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This idea was inspired by my "inapporopriate swearing" hit (linked) that i posetd a few weeks back.

Today, the avearage person uses the words 'thank-you' about 12 timesa day (at work, shopping, at home etc) - I know this because I counted. This means that people on avearage are thanked 12 times a day...based on the average life expectancy of the west, thats about 262800 (not counting the uncapable / discourteous 0 - 18 year olds)....of course this figure varies depending on ones upbringing

We hear it so much so that its almost a 'hello' or 'goodbye' in a standard conversation, and hearing it so much substantially reduces the feeling of ones sincerity and greatly devalues the meaning. We often even forget those who say 'thankyou' and remember those who don't.

What 'thankyou' needs is a facelift - a way of making it as well recieved as intended, and I believe this can effectively be done by using questionable thank-yous that make the receivers conciously think about, and thus remember the effort made to show such appreciation.

They could be sarcastic thankyous, sencerely delivered, with full on eye contact and the little reflex nod-of-the-head. such as

I should probably thank you right?

fine then... thankyou.

Ok....well... thankyou

Thankyou... I guess

pshhhh.... thanks

Alternatively they could contain endearing terms when delivered (again sincerely delivered so not to seem sleezy). such as

Thankyou baby/sweetie /darlin/cupcake /pumpkin/honey /pudding etc

OR (and this is only for the daring) people could use inappropriate phrases with a sleezy connotation, but delivered as poker-face as possible (sincerety would just seem perverse). such as (and I strongly suggest these be used only on departure to avoid EXTREME akwardness)

you really do it for me...thanks

you taste good...thanks

thankyou for not screaming

thanks....now sex?

Or...and this is just bizzare but i'm gonna throw it up in the air. One departs a 'thankyou' scene using vulgarity. this would jus purely be used to be remembered. such as

balls

piss bucket

horseshit

Using these in apporopriate situations (IE not to individuals of seniority such as - boss, police, wife, man with gun etc) would guarentee you're standing out fromt he rest and being remembered as the guy who used the very questionable 'thankyou'

shitballs!

shinobi, Oct 14 2005

inappropriate swearing Inappropriate_20swearing
hit...thanks I guess [shinobi, Oct 14 2005]

[link]






       I'd give you a bun, but I'm not sure what response that would get.
Ling, Oct 14 2005
  

       But in Spain, and other countries populated by shiftless fish thieves, people *never* say thank you, which throws your mathematical analysis out of whack.   

       Isn't this a bit let's all-y?
calum, Oct 14 2005
  

       Baked. There was a guy who worked in my office who managed to totally redefine the meaning of 'Have a nice day'.
When he used it the phrase was so heavily sodden with sarcasm that it was quite clear that what he really meant was 'You are a total wanker and have wasted far too much of my time. This conversation is now at an end and I'm glad to see the back of you. Go away and never come back."

'Have a nice day' is now the standard phrase used in our office for 'Don't have a very nice day at all.'
DrBob, Oct 17 2005
  
      
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