h a l f b a k e r yMake mine a double.
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This is a specially designed pair of boxer shorts with an insert in the seat that is made of activated charcoal lined with cotton. When you fart, the pad not only muffles the noise, but the gas passes through the charcoal and the smell gets filtered out.
Flatulence Filter
http://www.flatulence-filter.com/
Originally known as the "Toot Trapper", this filter is implemented as a seat cushion. [Eeyore, Mar 30 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Under-Ease
http://www.under-tec.com/
Underwear with replaceable filter [neelandan, Jan 24 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Flairt
http://www.devilducky.com/media/55095/
[Dub, Jan 25 2007]
[link]
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sounds like fancy maxi pads for men. |
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Farts were made to enjoy ! Please don't mask |
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Wouldn't this tend to thicken one's behind noticeably, even when concealed in a funky pair of pink camo' UFO(tm) brand jeans? Wouldn't want that stigmata. |
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Of course, I'm not the sort to wear pink camo' UFOs, and they sell reasonably well, I am told. |
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Don't fart too hard, you might crap your pants. |
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But filtering carbon is so expensive... [Glances at aquarium, hears cash register sound, shakes head.] |
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They make headphones that reduce background noise.
Why not develope a similar device that reduces the sound
electronically. Also, I have seen air filters that ionize the
air to reduce odor. Using both of these technologies, one
could effectivly eliminate this problem. |
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Dub, the link you added is to a report of the product that was mentioned here in the link right above yours, more than five years ago. |
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Although the odor might be suppressed by a proper suppository the noise is a problem. Embarrassment might be minimized by having a group of pseudofart noisemakers distributed around the room activated by remotes held by everybody. If anybody hears a fart coming on he or she could press the remote so that a chorus of farts would resound through the room and nobody in particular could be held guilty. |
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Well, it could be a fire hazard if it's a dry fart and the cotton is statically charged, and you know how activated charcoal/cotton are flammable materials....Instead, you should try using adult sized asbestos diapers, a 9-volt battery, and a butt/spark plug with a gas check-valve activated igniter switch. (warning: Farter beware, don't smoke the diaper) |
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Yet another step towards becoming carbon neutral.. |
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I would much prefer a method of making the flatulence louder and more stinky. |
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Well then, eat bean chile and garlic, buy yourself a loudspeaker, and let-er-rip then. |
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A high surface area that allows non-polar particals to adhere to it. |
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//louder and more stinky// |
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Go on a course of antibiotics. Then drink a cocktail laced with the sludge from an anaerobic digestor gas plant. Eat lots of green stuff. |
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