Halfbakery: Alternative Forms
18th Century halfbakery   (+13, -1)  [vote for, against]
triumph of halfbakery over reason?

a snapshot in history.

Before the invention of the lightning conductor in 1752
An account holder at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
“Lightning Umbrella” a device to go on the roof of tall buildings. it was totally scorned and cussed. the account holder deleted his account in a huff, never to be seen again.

Before the discovery of a new planet in 1781
An account holder at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
“Name a planet Uranus!” this was heavily fishboned as ha ha gross.

Before the invention of the jigsaw puzzle in 1767
An account holder at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
“broken plate puzzle” – “what a waste of time and effort” was the only annotation to this – no votes. the newbie account holder told the assembled company that they all sucked and were stoopid and a total waste of space.

Before the invention of the self-winding clock in 1783
A certain account holder named farmerjack at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
- well, he actually wrote half a dozen of them and they were all well-received. The auto-boner left his usual mark in a fit of pique & jealousy.

Before the invention of the spinning mule in 1779
A certain account holder at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
“Spinning Mule” an adaptation of the drunken art of pushing a cow over, late at night; to cries of “cruelty to animals” and “baked”

Before the discovery of smallpox vaccination in 1796
A certain account holder at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
“Smallpox vacation” advocating free holidays for smallpox victims. This was totally ignored as no-one wished to cough up the readies (in tax) for the venture.

Before the invention of the cotton gin in 1794
A certain account holder at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
“Cotton Gin” an alcoholic beverage made from linen. DrBrownAle pronounced that it was impossible. Dipsy at the back had a fit of hiccups.
-- po, Apr 06 2003

Prebakery http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Prebakery
by Zircon. [my face your, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Have a go. http://inventors.ab...700s.htm?once=true&
[egbert, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Do you remember that idiot newbie "St3fenson" who reckoned that we should all travel around in steam-powered carriages - on rails?
-- hippo, Apr 06 2003


Wasn't there a short-stayed newbie "TomJeff" who posted a WIBNI about an independant American nation free from British rule?
-- Canuck, Apr 06 2003


Before the invention of the 300 dog-power snowmobile in 1798
a certain Roderick Lyon at the 18th Century halfbakery wrote:-
“Shitsu Engine” a canine, belt locomotor; to cries of “here’s another bone for your tiny team” and “yapa, yapa, yapa”
-- FarmerJohn, Apr 06 2003


I crave indulgence to recall to the assembled company the preposterous proposal that the works of Donne and his ilk be used in promotional publications! Of particular derision were the suggestions for Unruly Sun Window Drapes and Fleabite Chastity Garments!
-- egbert, Apr 07 2003


Dost thou remember the truly laughable notion that an expedition of men be gathered, to assert Englande's claims to hitherto undiscovered lands in the Southern Hemisphere and the Southern Pacific ocean? And that was as recent as 1752 that it were deemed buffoonery to propose such a notion !

None of this would have proved necessary, had it not been for the imperialism of the blasted French.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 07 2003


We could get there by travelling in wicker baskets suspended below huge bags full of heated air, suggested [Mountain Golfer]


-- hippo, Apr 07 2003


Et le frère a dit le "non, vraiment, il sera grand!"
-- Don Quixote, Apr 07 2003


Heh.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 07 2003


I rather enjoyed
the bloodletting of yore
which was toyed
by Baron Von Myfaceyour
-- thumbwax, Apr 07 2003


"Proper illumination of MS Castle 3.11 requires the installation of at least 4 pecks of candles."
-- Don Quixote, Apr 07 2003


...and you'll have to get the glazier round to install Windows 1.8K
-- hippo, Apr 07 2003


I am also reminded of the troll [jtull] who, in direct contravention of the biblical exhortation that seed be scattered by hand in random patterns, proposed a mechanism for breaking the sod, placing seeds in an evenly spaced pattern, and covering them again in one motion. The cad was duly hounded off, with a particularly memorable and witty quote from Mr Uniqueyokel "If God had meant us to drill, he'd have given us ploughshares for arms"
-- egbert, Apr 07 2003


that [jtull] look remarkably like *jutta*, what a coincidence.
-- po, Apr 07 2003


That was what alerted us to his troll-like nature in the first instance. That and his propensity for dancing around playing the flute.
-- egbert, Apr 07 2003


That, and his name... Jethro.

No-one would ever believe you if you told them that name could ever be anything but trouble. But, trouble it was.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 07 2003


And that nasty, little boy [benfranklin], with his reactionary ideas. Who could forget this collaborative effort, with [CaptainWashington]? They even blamed it on [jamesmadison].

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 07 2003


As I recall, a regal woman who lost her head had once posted an idea about "cake for all" or some such nonsense.
-- Canuck, Apr 08 2003


And of course Mr Jenner who extolled the virtues of using cow pox to lessen the effects of small pox. Indeed they were strange times.
-- sufc, Apr 08 2003


I predict someone will soon suggest "They were the best of times, they were the worst of times..."
-- UnaBubba, Apr 08 2003


Don't even mention that Franklin fellow - "A penny saved is a penny earned" - pshaw!
-- thumbwax, Apr 08 2003


Was it he that ..ah..coined the phrase "The penny is mightier than the sword"?
-- egbert, Apr 08 2003


Well, he was known for praising common cents.
-- FarmerJohn, Apr 08 2003


And bent coppers.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 08 2003


He's famous for remarking to the pondering Thomas Jefferson, "Here, a pen for your thoughts."
-- FarmerJohn, Apr 08 2003


He was being pensive.
-- egbert, Apr 08 2003


Next somebody will propose that Britain is ruled by Germans. Long live Queen Anne.
-- PeterSilly, Apr 08 2003


I thought that it was really ruled by a Scot.
FREEEEEEDOM.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 08 2003


As the Biro was only invented later ...isn't the phrase meant to be...

"The Penis , mightier than the sword. "

Perhaps proving that Viagra was around before the biro!
-- NedRyarson, Apr 09 2003


[2 fries]: That would be an Aussie pretending to be a Scot. As opposed to [PeterSilly]'s correct assertion of a German pretending to by English.

(later: Sorry [UB]: I can't believe I forgot that Mel 'Grecian 2000' Gibson was an American pretending to be Australian - much like the Martian Paul Hogan pretending to be normal. No aspersions were meant)
-- Jinbish, Apr 09 2003


That would be an Aussie, who was born in the US, but went to school in this city in Australia, pretending to be a Scot.

[Nedryarson], it may surprise you to know that a pen is not a ballpoint pen. It is a writing device filled with, or dipped into, ink, and usually fitted with a nib. Ballpoint pens came much later, and are a poor substitute.

Quote of the day: "I regret that I have but one croissant to give for my bakery"... [Didn't Inhale]
-- UnaBubba, Apr 09 2003


Who can ever forget that crazy [anti-gravity Abhi] and his attacks on that damned fool, [IsaacNewton] ?

I challenge the poster to change her username to [po revere]
-- UnaBubba, Apr 09 2003


what?
-- po, Jan 30 2004


I liked it then, I like it now. +
-- sartep, Oct 08 2004



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