BubbaCo Subhuman Resources Division runs a number of training courses for aspirant managers, not unlike the redoubtable Xe (formerly Blackwater but renamed in similar fashion to a former popstar whose public profile evaporated after a similar change in corporate identity).
Our most popular course** is one that emphasises an individual's capacity for self-reliance, self-effacement and self-abuse.
We literally cast you adrift in a remote area of the southwestern Pacific Ocean, in a boat that leaks at a controlled rate designed to allow you no more than four hours continuous sleep without the boat filling with water and soaking you.
Food, at a subsistence level, is supplied. You are encouraged to plan your consumption rate carefully, to simulate operating on a limited budget.
Every so often, one of our highly trained operatives, working from a submerged submarine, slips aboard your boat and inserts a sharp object into a difficult-to-reach spot in your back, apparently for fun. In reality, it is a simple simile for loss of faith in you by your immediate superior.
**Course participants may be required to sign a waiver absolving BubbaCo SRD of any liability for subsequent physical, spiritual, psychological or imaginary effects, deleterious or otherwise, such waiver to be of effect for indefinite duration.-- UnaBubba, Sep 29 2009 What is [Ian] talking about? http://www.google.c...a+leaky+boat+&meta= [hippo, Sep 29 2009] Evil is a word bandied about these days so that the meaning is often diluted. You are, however, most definitely sadistic.
(+)-- Jinbish, Sep 29 2009 Every few days you will have to dismantle and completely rebuild your boat as a metaphor for the love of large corporations to disguise internal problems by restructuring. Having done this, you will 'downsize' your boat by throwing an essential component - an oar - far away and then paddle frantically after it with the remaining oar to retrieve it, forfeiting a day's ration of food to symbolise the costs of redundancy and rehiring payments.-- hippo, Sep 29 2009 Dammit, [hippo], I specifically asked you, when you signed our unofficial secrets act, not to divulge any proprietary course materials to the public. What ARE you thinking, man?-- UnaBubba, Sep 29 2009 Good single from the Enz. Still play a lot of Disrythmia and Frenzy (the latter I think containing a lot of their most mature stuff).-- Ian Tindale, Sep 29 2009 I have a sinking feeling about this.-- phoenix, Sep 29 2009 Mea culpa. I was discussing executive training and the silly fad for survival courses in the 1980s, with a business associate today, when I thought of this idea. The title seemed appropriate, given the timing.-- UnaBubba, Sep 29 2009 Maybe market this as an "extreme vacation" and catch the recently graduated lot who've never sat the '80s.-- reensure, Sep 29 2009 Why does this sound so much like my career?-- RayfordSteele, Sep 29 2009 We use you as an example in many of our practical exercises, [RS].-- UnaBubba, Sep 29 2009 My favorite Enz record.-- tatterdemalion, Sep 29 2009 For a complete simulation of corporate life, the experience should include a blindfold (to keep you in the dark) and an occasional plastic bag to urine dropped with amazing accuracy from a satellite, to give the genuine sensation of being pissed on from a great height.
[+]-- 8th of 7, Sep 29 2009 Make that stale urine and you're hired as a course facilitator, [8/7].-- UnaBubba, Sep 29 2009 Done.
Yay ! High Five !-- 8th of 7, Sep 29 2009 //self-reliance, self-effacement and self-abuse.// so it's run by se(a)men ?-- FlyingToaster, Sep 29 2009 Yeah, show us your coxswain.-- UnaBubba, Sep 29 2009 //fad//
They've been watered down a bit, but sports and management courses are still going. After the last one, I now refuse to go to any S&M type events.-- bigsleep, Sep 29 2009 Ah, team bonding... rubbing you up against a pack of irritating bastards you didn't like to start with, in the hope you'll somehow miraculously learn to like them after they've managed to "accidentally" dump you in a freezing lakeful of duckweed and water lice.-- UnaBubba, Sep 30 2009 ...or is [bigsleep] referring to a different kind of "S&M event"?-- hippo, Sep 30 2009 [hippo] You obviously didn't read [UB]'s anno.-- bigsleep, Sep 30 2009 I think he read it. S&M in the office is kinda frowned upon these days, unless the sadism is purely psychological and the masochism is down to the victim being afraid of trying to get a different job.-- UnaBubba, Sep 30 2009 This song was banned in the UK during the Falklands war-- simonj, Sep 30 2009 On HMS Herpes or HMS Invisible?-- UnaBubba, Oct 01 2009 Would i be able to get a message to my girl if i did this?-- nineteenthly, Oct 01 2009 Only if you were all in the same boat.-- 8th of 7, Oct 01 2009 halfbakery