The Autoboner comes complete with batteries, scented massage oils, fly agaric and an instruction booklet thingy, explaining what to do in the case of priapism.
The mechanism is in the form of a dedicated electronic pathway from the frontal lobes to the nerves controlling the wedding tackle, to ensure you get predictable results upon demand.
This will often result in the user "pitching a tent" for reasons apparent to no-one but himself. Whilst this may seem burdensome, it may be exactly what the social pariahs, who comprise the target market for this product, want to happen. The other stuff that comes with it is just window dressing.
The reasons for dysfunction are often psychological. However, the impulse is there, but the message seems to get confused, along the way.
It can be switched off if the user decides to go swimming, in bikini briefs, for instance.-- UnaBubba, Feb 07 2003 "Cialis" available now http://www.heraldsu...748%255E662,00.html36 hours of flagpole [waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004] Auto-croissant cancels this out. Voting remains even.-- snarfyguy, Feb 07 2003 Deuce?-- UnaBubba, Feb 07 2003 mfd removed.-- st3f, Feb 07 2003 I think it's humanly possible. After all, they're very light... even a thought can lift one.-- UnaBubba, Feb 07 2003 Pun? Pun? Where did you get that idea? The name is, by pure coincidence, similar to that given to a certain furtive 'baker.
Nor is it a rant. You reread the idea, and tell me how this is a rant. It's a perfectly viable alternative to the currently accepted, allopathic solution to erectile dysfunction.-- UnaBubba, Feb 07 2003 where do the batteries go?-- po, Feb 07 2003 You know when you see a cat walking away from you, with its tail in the air?-- UnaBubba, Feb 07 2003 you first UB-- po, Feb 07 2003 Can't believe this has croissants.-- UnaBubba, Feb 07 2003 It's that gosh darn autocroissanter.-- bristolz, Feb 07 2003 Don't ya hate that? I hate that.
I also hate it when I go to take a leak and the guy next door has a Whopper™ and I realise that I'm holding a Junior Burger™.-- UnaBubba, Feb 07 2003 Keep up the good work.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 07 2003 reminds me of High School, how embarassing-- marymalibu, Feb 07 2003 Croiky! Just look how the little fellah perks right up when I rub me thumb near his butt'ole! Amazing! Stand back now, while I.... <croissant for the vast improvement over previously proposed "nitinol penile implant">-- X2Entendre, Feb 08 2003 Leave me out of this-- thumbwax, Feb 08 2003 36 hours of flagpole? That sounds painful...-- Voice, Oct 07 2008 No doubt. Might I suggest Sir purchase a large box of oversized elastic bands, each big enough to fit comfortably around the upper thigh?-- UnaBubba, Oct 07 2008 halfbakery