Roland sat down, pressing the buckle of his belt as he did so, triggering a small electric pump that whirred to life.
As his apparently unshielded nether regions made contact with the seat he settled comfortably on an airy cushion of goodness.
The inflatable toilet seat had been invisible under his clothing, strapped around his waist and more lightly by an elasticised loop around each thigh. An air pump, a small reservoir of disinfectant gel and a rechargeable mobile 'phone battery completed the ensemble.
Now, whether the seat was up, down, or even missing because of miscreants and vandals, wetness, stickiness, grime and coldness were no longer a part of the "daily constitutional"experience.
Roland's BYO Toilet Seat was ready for production and delivery to the wider public. Best of all, it was already at a perfect body temperature before committing to sitting.
Roland knew, from discussions with his very prim neighbour, Nancy, that there was a massive market for a product that made every toileting experience predictable and safe.
Already, Roland's devious mind was at work, planning a remarkably similar product for people forced to endure hard, uncomfortable seats in sports stadia, theatres and meetings.-- UnaBubba, Sep 30 2009 Ha! For the CEO that has it all. http://i.treehugger...20%C2%A92007-v2.jpg [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Sep 30 2009] Opportunities for untimely accidental activation [+]-- pocmloc, Sep 30 2009 Do we really want to solve the seat controversy? It's brought us years of fodder for thought and ideas.-- blissmiss, Sep 30 2009 Forget being embarassed about having toilet paper stuck to your shoe...think about hearing, "Honey, you forgot to deflate your toilet seat."
[+]-- BouncyPaw, Sep 30 2009 Very useful for the haemorrhoid-sufferer set.-- UnaBubba, Sep 30 2009 ... and when the device malfunctioned as it was wont to do, Roland bore the horrified stares of his section of the stadium as, after levitating 6" off his chair, his pants exploded.-- FlyingToaster, Oct 01 2009 [+] Blind Bun! I voted just on the title alone!-- Jscotty, Oct 01 2009 "Is that an inflatable toilet seat in your trousers or are you just pleased to see me?"-- hippo, Oct 01 2009 Does my arse look big in this?-- egbert, Oct 01 2009 halfbakery